Christianity

by

When the Benefit Outweighs the Cost


My parents have lived in the same subdivision for nearly 17 years. I’ve been running in that neighborhood for nearly 17 years, and I’ve been running practically the same route the entire time. It’s predictable, challenging (but not too much), has several little dead end streets you can add for extra elevation, time, and distance.

It’s a good, mindless route.

At least it used to be.

Since moving back to cut expenses while I finish school, this route has been physically more challenging than it used to be. In fact, I haven’t even been able to run the entire route. I stall out at about the same place every time. I thought it was just b/c of being older, or trying to get back into shape.

But it hasn’t gotten any easier, even though I can run farther and faster other places, and lately I began to realize why. It’s not any more physically challenging than it ever has been, but one particular part of my old route has dredged up particularly painful memories, some nearly a decade old, some fresh, in the last few months.

My stall outs haven’t been physical, they’ve been psychological. They’ve occurred when I’ve gotten distracted with the “whys” and the “what ifs” attached to the houses I pass. Instead of running being a time when I clear my mind, refocus on God, commune with Him, my running became a time of reflecting on the past and regretting much of it. It literally weighed me down til I had to walk.

And today, I just couldn’t do it. This part of my run is nearly a mile, and it’s relatively flat, but I couldn’t do it. But I had four miles to run, so I had to do something.

So I chose another route.

And not only did I run it, I hit an elevation PR. Pretty cool.

20130607-185110.jpg

To some, that may seem like the obvious thing to do, but how many times to we do that in our own lives, in relationships or other issues?

How often do we find ourselves limping down the same painful road over and over again when all we have to do is pick a different path?

The new path I picked today was hard. There’s a steep elevation, right in the middle. But I’ll tell you one thing:

The temporary pain of the new uphill challenge far outweighed the familiarity of the old, downhill pain.

I know that old route will always be there, and one day, when those emotional wounds have healed, I can run it again. But in order to leave that old route and go a new way, I had to get to the point at which the benefit of facing a new challenge outweighed the pain of constantly reopening old wounds.

So how does that relate to our spiritual and relational lives?

When we’re “trapped” in a spiritual rut or an unhealthy relationship or other situation, what stops us from taking the challenge of trying another route?

Is the same old pain and heartache at least familiar, and we’re not willing to risk that a new challenge may be even more painful?

Remember this: “If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed.” The new challenges we face with Christ can be difficult; but we will never face them alone.

Sometimes, all it takes to break free from a long term cycle of pain is to just pick a new path.

Which path will you pick today?

by

Baseball, Football, and the Countdown to Eternity


Last week the baseball team where I teach made school history. Without previously having won so much as a regular season district championship, they won the district, region, and substate tournaments. Our guys made it all the way to the State Finals before finishing second and rushing home so the five seniors could graduate, wearing their uniforms under their graduation robes. It was a lifetime memory that I will hold dear and I know they will never forget.

In the semi-final game, we were up by several runs, and the visiting team was up to bat in the top of the 7th, the final inning in high school baseball. As our pitcher was throwing his warm up pitches, the PA guy began blaring the 1986 song “Final Countdown” by Europe. Our retro cool students all sang along in the stands and reminded us “old folks” that the song was older than they are.

We excitedly counted down the final three outs that put us in the State Finals.

GREAT memories. GREAT reason to have a countdown.

Yesterday morning I was watching SportsCenter while eating breakfast, and there was a segment discussing the fact that we have hit a key countdown:

20130529-142907.jpg

College football season. GREAT reason to count down.

The game that claims to have overtaken baseball as America’s Pastime is only 100 days away. Only. That’s almost one third of the year. But we SO love football, we start counting down the days to the first game at 100.

I can’t say much. I start the countdown to Spring Training the Monday after the Super Bowl. Baseball and football are in a constant battle for the title of First Love in my sports heart. As a society, we LOVE sports, and we love counting down to the beginning of each season, whichever season it may be.

But as I was running later, a thought occurred to me: What if we counted down to our step out of time and into eternity with as much fervor and excitement as we counted down to the beginning of sports seasons?

“But Bekah,” you say, “No one knows when He will return. Besides, we’ve been waiting two thousand years. No one can live their entire life as if Jesus was coming back tomorrow.”

To this, it would reply, “True, but not really.”

This is one of those Both/And situations, the beautiful tension of Christian faith.

Do we, as the Bride of Christ, anxiously await the return of the Bridegroom?

YES, just as the Church has done for 2,000+ years.

In His grace, He delays His return for His Bride, desiring that none should perish.

But in His mercy, He calls His children Home to be with Him every single day.

Our lives are a vapor, according to James, and while the Church has been in a countdown for over two millennia, we as individuals are not guaranteed our next breath.

So how do we live a life with the realization that each day could be our last without becoming focused on death?

How do we live with our mortality in mind without becoming useless because of the morbidity of the thought?

Paul addresses this very question in 1 Thessalonians 4. He begins this section of his letter talking about the daily walk of the Christian. He urges the Thessalonians to grow in the Word, to be sanctified, pure, holy, and to love one another. Those things will only happen in that order. The more we know, the more we grow, change, desire to be like Christ, and show His love to others.

What’s interesting is that Paul follows up that section reminding the believers of the hope they have in eternity. It’s as if he’s answering the question he knows they’re going to ask: “Why all the hard work? What’s the end goal?”

He gives his readers hope for this life with a reminder of the afterlife. We live a life seeking Christ, living each day as if it is our last, facing struggles and joys, persecutions and victories, so that we are as prepared as possible for our step out of this life and into eternity.

Paul, when facing his own mortality and impending step into eternity declared he had finished the race and kept the faith (2 Tim). He believed he had lived his life every day as if it was his last.

So as we live this life abundantly, as we celebrate victories, count down to favorite sporting seasons, welcome new lives into this world and remember those who have gone before us, let’s spur one another on to love and good deeds (Heb 10), remembering that both as Bride and as child, each day we are in a countdown, each day we are one day closer to the coming of our entrance into eternity.

How will you commit to live your countdown?

by

Shifting Views: Moral Absolutes or Political Debate?


I don’t normally pull my family into my blog posts, but I’m proud of my dad for how he recently spoke up, in a reasonable and wise manner, in an article for our local paper when many conservative (political and religious) are apparently becoming more and more unwilling to do so.

Dialogue dies when one side quits speaking. Don’t abandon civil discourse on ANY issue. Even if you never win a debate or convert someone to your way of thinking, the art of agreeing to disagree is becoming a lost art, and that’s a shame.

Here’s an excerpt of the article for which my dad was willing to be interviewed:

“Bill Mason, pastor of Morris Hill Baptist Church, said he opposes same-sex marriage, but the issue has become so politically charged it’s difficult to debate rationally.

“It really has become a political issue. It’s not a church issue anymore; it’s been taken out of that realm,” Mason said.

He said opinions are changing because people are approaching same-sex marriage as a civil rights question instead of a religious or moral one.

But, he said, the pendulum of tolerance has swung in the other direction, and reasonable people who are against gay marriage are drowned out by extreme anti-gay views.

“The other problem is, people are afraid to say anything against it. … It’s a complicated issue, and I think the church has been betrayed by these hatemongers. I think it’s still a sin,” Mason said. “The tolerance issue has got to go both ways. And sometimes it doesn’t.”

Members of several religious and social groups contacted by the Times Free Press on Friday and Saturday said they were opposed to same-sex marriage but declined to comment for this article.”

For the entire article, go here.

What do you think? Are views on same-sex marriage changing because the debate has shifted realms, from religious to political? How can the issue still be addressed from a moral perspective with both truth AND love?

by

On Selfish Prayers and the Silence of God


Many months ago on a Thursday night, my mom handed me her cell phone to read a text she had just received. It said something to the effect of, “I don’t have Bekah’s number so please tell her that God wants her to know that it’s ok to pray selfish prayers.”

My immediate, snarky response was, “God is SUCH a teenage girl. I really wish He would talk TO me and not ABOUT me.”

After a couple of days, though, I began to wonder what such a statement said about me and my prayer life. If she really had heard from God (which I still highly doubted since her “word” was confirming NOTHING that God was already working in my life), what could it possibly mean?

Selfishness is not exactly a fruit of the Spirit, so could it mean I needed to pray more about personal things? I was aware of my own tendency to hide from intimacy with my Heavenly Father by talking TO Him about the needs of others instead of spending time WITH Him conversing about daily life. Maybe He meant that He wanted me to pray the prayers for which I had already assumed His answer was going to be “no.” I don’t do rejection, so why ask something I know He won’t give me?

After more than a month of rolling this idea around in my head, I received some news that allowed a selfish desire of my heart to suddenly have “Yes” as a potential answer. So I stepped out on “faith” and prayed, “Ok, God, if you want me to pray a selfish prayer, here it is.” And I asked Him to please let me have this thing that I had never previously even allowed myself to consider. Simply praying for this thing opened up my heart to vulnerability and risk of rejection; rejection from a person and perceived rejection from God.

“But,” I thought, “surely God wouldn’t tell me to pray a selfish prayer and then say ‘No.'”

But “No” was most definitely the answer, as the secret desire of my heart once again became unattainable as quickly as it had become a possibility.

I tend to be a slow learner, so when a ministry position was presented to me a couple of months later, I jumped at the chance. It was my “dream job,” the one for which I had moved back to Chattanooga before I had even finished seminary.

I’d spent the last three and a half years teaching with the assumption that it was just a “season” until God had me ready to do the work He had really called me to. So I prayed for God’s blessing on my plan, and I jumped in feet first.

I verbally resigned my job. I asked my church family to pray for guidance and wisdom as I began making a fundraising plan for this mission/ministry work to which God had obviously called me back. I taught at one seminar, attended another, and began letting people know that I was again working with women in targeted discipleship ministry focusing on sexual brokenneess. Everyone but my students knew I was leaving, and I planned to tell them the week after the second seminar I attended.

But in that one week, everything fell apart. The confirmation wasn’t there, the transition wasn’t working, the leadership of the ministry was encouraging me to stay where I was and pursue fundraising much more conservatively due to potential changes in the ministry. Working at both places part time was no longer a possibility, and I had to choose. And I chose to stay where I am.

For the second time I thought, “God, why dangle a desire in front of me, just to take away again?”

One more time I tried this selfish prayer thing, this time about a house. I found a house. I LOVED the house. I loved the history of the house. I wanted the house. I could afford the house. I pre-qualified for the house. “Finally, I prayed the right selfish prayer. Time to settle in where I am, do what Iove doing, and quit pursuing ‘bigger’ things. What’s bigger than the impact I have on my kids every day? Time to buy a house and settle down.”

One more time, it all fell through and the house was pulled off the market.

Then it went back on the market. And I tried again. And it didn’t work again. Someone else beat me to it.

This time, I was mad. I was mad at the lady and her “word” from God. I was mad at myself for believing it and acting on it, getting my hopes up, only to see them knocked down three times.

Relationships, careers, homes. The needs and desires of most hearts. Nothing inherently evil about any of them, but the answer was “No” all three times.

Finally, I got a little miffed at God. “What gives?” I asked one night through angry tears. “I haven’t asked for anything outlandish or wrong. What’s wrong with me that I can’t have love, ministry, or stability?”

And once again I heard the still, small voice of God for myself for the first time in many months: “You already have all of those things, in abundance.”

I have love. More love from more people than any one person could deserve or truly appreciate in a lifetime.

I have a ministry. I love my students like they were my own kids. I spend more time with them than I would spend with my own kids if I had my own kids to spend time with.

When people say to me now, “God is going to do great things with you,” I get offended. What’s greater than influencing the spiritual formation of the next generation?

I have stability. I have a God who loves me, who never changes. I have a family who stands by me, even when I try to run them off. I have friends who stick close even when I make it difficult for them to do so.

I’ve learned a lot the last few months about selfish prayers and a silent God.

I’ve learned I still don’t know what’s best for me. By praying for the desires of my heart, I saw just how out of line my heart was from the heart of God. Jeremiah was right: The heart is deceitful above all things, and only God truly understands it. But sometimes He reminds us that our hearts even deceive us.

I’ve learned that while I may make a plan, God really does determine my path. I decided I knew what God wanted for me, and I chased after those things, without confirmation, without really even consulting Him. I didn’t pray selfish prayers; I pursued selfish things. BIG difference.

I’ve learned I have a long way to go in understanding what communion and conversation with God really look like. He’s not a genie in a bottle or an oracle who speaks in mystical codes. He is my Father, who wants what’s best for me. And He’s determined to see that I get it, even at the risk of my heart breaking in the process.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that, when He is silent, He is not giving a “yes” but possibly a ‘wait’ or more likely, a “Be still and know that I am God.”

When there is no “Yes,” assume “Be still and know.” I need to know Him more and more until the single selfish desire of my heart is to know Him even more so. Being selfish should be a desire for what is best for me, and He is it.

by

Christians, Gay Marriage and a REAL marriage revolution


18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, ‘ for she was taken out of man.”24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2

Evangelicals have gathered in huge numbers today in Washington, DC, to rally and protest, making their opinion known on the issue of whether or not the state should recognize same-sex marriages.

Once upon a time, marriage was about a covenant between a man, a woman, and God. The records were kept in the church, documentation in the family Bible. But during the time that the lines between church and state were blurred (think pre-Reformation, so we’re talking a LONG time ago), the state took over keeping up with marriage, and it’s been a legal contract ever since.

I don’t agree with same-sex relationships because I do believe that they do not fall in line with God’s designed purpose for intimate, sexual relationships.

However, I also disagree with Christians who protest the government’s ruling on marriage (which they claim is ordained by God, not the state) but still enjoy the tax, insurance, retirement and other benefits of a state recognized marriage.

Here’s a revolutionary thought: if believers seriously are against the changes the government is making concerning marriage, stop participating in government recognized marriages.

Return to church recognized, covenantal marriages. When the government goes against God, remove yourself from the government sponsored activity.

It will be a hardship. We will no longer enjoy the benefits the government offers people who join into a legal marriage.

But isn’t sacrifice expected when we stand in our moral beliefs?

So here’s my challenge: Count the cost of protesting or supporting the government’s definition of marriage, which is an understanding that marriage is a legally bound partnership between two consenting people. If we agree with that reductionist view of marriage, then we have NO RIGHT to protest the government withholding those rights from any couple seeking them.

If, however, we believe marriage is a sacred, lifetime covenant between one man, one woman, and God, then why do we allow the government to be involved in the first place?

If you are so strongly against the government redefining marriage, then stop participating in government acknowledged marriages and deal with the sacrifices made because of that stand.

Not a popular stance, and I’m certain I’ll take fire from both sides of the debate, but brothers and sisters, we cannot continue to speak out against an institution (the government) from which we benefit.

My friend Kim just made a beautiful point: our government is not bound to biblical standards, but as Christians, we are. We are not a theocracy, and cannot expect those who do not hold to our religious morals to abide by them.

God ordained governments to protect our right to practice our faith, not to enforce our faith. So if our government today chooses to enforce a law which you believe goes against biblical law, then stop participating in that government sanctioned activity.

File for legal divorce and ask your pastor for a church blessed covenant. Sacrifice the benefits of government sanctioned marriage and embrace community accountability and support.

Teach about the sanctity of marriage, the seriousness of the commitment.

Talk young people out of entering marriage until they understand the commitment they are making.

Talk married couples out of divorcing because they have made that covenant commitment.

(UPDATE: The above statement in NO way means that I condone staying in an unsafe situation in which abuse is taking place in a marriage. In an ideal situation, red flags of possible abuse would be revealed in the pre-marital time and the person would either be discipled to repentance or the marriage would not occur in the first place. If you are currently in an abusive relationship, get out of immediate danger, tell someone. Tell until someone believes you and empowers you to act. God NEVER condones the abuse of His children.)

Do those things, then get back to me about why you desire to withhold government sanctioned financial benefits from same-sex couples, some of whom have been in relationships longer than many heterosexual Christian marriages.

Let’s get marriage right in the Church again before we start critiquing how the world does it.

UPDATE: I’ve had some ask for clarification on my statements above, thinking I’ve meant Christians should isolate themselves from the world or remove ourselves from the political realm altogether.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m a history and Poli. Sci. junkie and ENCOURAGE Christians to be involved in the public square.

But on this particular issue, we as believers may need to find a way to signify a distinct difference in our understanding of marriage and the Gov’t’s.

I wrote his on another site yesterday and thought it might be helpful to include here:

The current definition of legal marriage as observed by the gov’t and God’s covenant standard are already so completely different, God wouldn’t recognize our gov’t’s view of marriage.

I say we separate marriage and legal unions. Once, they were assumed the same thing, but they are no longer in our society. Make covenant marriage the business of the church and if people want to add a gov’t sanctioned legal contract, then so be it.

On the other hand, if people wish a legal acknowledgment of their relationship w/o caring for a church commitment, then let them have a legal union alone.

When man’s law deviates from God’s law, as Christians, we stand more accountable to God.

Civil union and covenant marriage should be two separate things; let the state deal with the legal issues and let religious institutions deal with the sacred union before God as necessary. We should no longer assume the two are the same.