Sin

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Guilty Christian Complex


There is a distinct characteristic often present in the lives of women who genuinely seek to perform well for their Savior– guilt. Women are created to help and to serve, to perform well for those who love us and who we love. When we feel we aren’t meeting the impossibly high standards we impose on ourselves, we walk around with our heads lowered in self-condemning guilt.

There is a distinct difference between godly, Spirit-driven conviction for unconfessed sin and the condemning shame of guilt imposed by the enemy. When we are down or feel separated from God because there is unconfessed sin our lives, there is but one cause (a choice to abandon God’s way and go our own) and one solution (repentance). Many women are plagued for years by sin they have confessed. I have heard many women say, “I know God forgives me, but I could never forgive myself.” Within this very statement we see pride– is it really possible that we believe the God of the universe has a lower standard for the forgiveness of sin than we do?

In his post, “Are Christians Meant to Feel Guilty all the Time?”, Pastor and author Kevin DeYoung addresses the question of Christians and guilt and offers ideas for why Christians often carry a guilt complex and what can be done to break free of such a stronghold.

If you struggle with guilt concerning past sin and seek the freedom that only the Gospel provides, I strongly encourage you to read this post.

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Comfortable Sins


I have been involved in an interesting conversation this week on another blog and wanted to share a couple of observsations here.

While the post was a review of Andrew Marin’s book Love is an Orientation, the comments below quickly shifted gears to sharing personal experiences concerning the relationships between conservative evangelicals and the LGBT community. Most experiences were from those in the Christian LGBT community who had experienced painful rejection and judgmental treatment from the church at large. Hurt feelings were still quite apparent as they wondered aloud how a church that tolerates gossip and greed and pornography and adultry can’t also tolerate a faithfully married gay couple who just wants to worship the same God they serve.

With the question posed like that, I wonder the same thing.

Why is it that there are so many “comfortable sins” we tolerate in the church, but have chosen to rise up in unified disgust with this one? Is it the fact that it’s the most unknown? The most feared? Is it because it’s the one sexual sin that has the fewest participants? After all, when more than half of unmarried church members admit to sexual activity in a given year and 20% of church going men admit to having had an affair at some point in their marriage, who’s going to speak out against extra-marrital sex? Who’s going to be the first to jump off the gossip train when 99.9% of us would be sad if it quit running? How can you confront someone with their greed when you are coveting what they have?

We might have a better chance of convincing the world that Jesus is worth loving if we first loved Him enough to present Him with a spotless bride. We can’t convince the world of their sin as long as we continue to hide our own.

Here was the conclusion I posted at the end of the blog:

I too have spent much time wondering about this issue of confrontation of sin in the church. Much of the problem, I believe, is that, for so long, the church has overlooked “straight” sexual sin and has suddenly decided to stand up to homosexual sin as an overwhelming deviation of the plan of God for sexuality.

The problem is not so much the response to homosexuality as it is the church’s response to sexual sin in general. I speak to this issue having been raised in a strict Southern Baptist upbringing and having struggled with my own issues concerning homosexuality.

As long as I continued to compare my sin struggles with other people, I had justification to continue in my sin. “My sexuality isn’t hurting anyone else! At least I’m not married and cheating on my husband.” or “How dare So-and-So tell me who I can and cannot love! Didn’t he get caught having and affair?” As long as we lower the standard for behavior to the level of humanity, we will always meet that standard.

As believers, however, our standard is not humanity, it’s a holy and perfect God who says we all fall short of His glory. …What we all truly do is justify our pet sins while condemning those who equally justify their own sins instead of ours. As long as we all look to one another as the standard for combating sin, we will never move. None of us. The rich man driving the Hummer will continue in his materialism, the deacon will continue to use pornography, the stay at home mom will be jealous of the working single woman and the working single woman will be bitter about her singleness, the homosexual will continue to identify himself more in his sexuality than in his role as an image bearer of God. When we compare ourselves to other sinful fallen people, we will never see the need to rise above our sinfulness.

So to get the conversation away from comparisons to other humans who live in a world with an infinite array of various shades of gray, let’s look back at the one perfect standard God set up. It is not the church that set up a black or white dichotomy of straight v. gay. There is no gray area with God. Gray areas are ways we attempt to justify our sin. Simple as that. God says we are foolish or wise, right or wrong. To commit one sin is to have committed them all in the eyes of a holy God. This isn’t to make God out to be a cosmic kill-joy bent on our destruction. He is a loving and holy God who desires us to recognize our sinfulness so we recognize a need for a Savior. Not only does He point out to us our need, He provides the needed salvation! We all fall short of His glory, not just those of us who commit sins the rest of us don’t like or understand. If God has one perfect way to do all things and we as people have found a myriad of ways to twist that one thing, then we need to see what God says about that one thing in order to be able to take a stand as a church on any issue of sexuality and gender.

First, what was God’s original purpose in marriage? Why did he create us to be in relationship with other people? What was His purpose in creating sex? It was his plan, after all… If God created it one way, why do we think we have a better way to it than the one who made it? And if you think that the Bible isn’t clear in what God says about sex, why do you even bother worshiping God at all? If we serve a God too weak to ensure that His intended Word to His people is transmitted to each generation of those who serve Him, then we serve a God too weak to deserve our worship and Paul was right; we above all men most deserve to be pitied.
It is possible to have a loving yet steadfast stance against all forms of sexual sin, but it requires us to take a hard look at how our own lives also don’t match up to God’s one perfect plan. And as fallen people, it’s always easier to look at the sins of others than to look at our own. …

The truth of the matter is that our heavenly Father desperately loves us, but He loves His own glory more. As those who claim to live our lives for His glory, we need to learn all we can about Him, his nature, his love, his holiness if we are to ever be conformed to the image of Christ. Pointing out the sins of others will never cure our own; only Jesus can do that, and thankfully, He has! It is only his redeeming work in our lives that can rid any of us of the sin which so easily entangles, whatever sin that may be.

So, what comfortable sin has you entangled? What are you going to do about it?

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Encouragement for the Battle


This week it seems as though the enemy has been working overtime on the body of Christ. So many I have talked with have seen and experienced his attacks, especially in the areas of thought life and identity. It’s hard to keep fighting the good fight when your mind is exhausted from battling the seemingly endless condemnation and confusion occurring in your own head. Some days it seems easier to change your behavior– don’t go here, stop doing that, change that action– than it is to change your thoughts. Many times, changing our hearts, transforming our identity and renewing our minds, can seem like a nearly impossible task. 

I was reading this morning from Ephesians 6, because I needed a reminder concerning spiritual warfare and the enemy’s quest to control our identities and our minds to keep us from being victorious in Christ. Sometimes when we feel defeated, we begin to forget that Christ has already given us the victory. When we believe we’re defeated, we live like we’re defeated, but as the children of God, we’ve been promised that we are more than conqueors because we are in Christ Jesus!

 Here’s what Paul says about the battle we all face in our our minds and some things I’ve learned over the years concerning what he’s teaching us in this passage:

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.

That be strong is written in a continual, imparative tense in Greek– we are commanded to be strong all of the time, but we are told we can only do that when we rely on HIS MIGHT and not our own. It’s not our strength that sees us through, it’s his strength.

11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.

Again, “put on” is a command, not a suggestion. God tells us exactly what to do in order to have victory– He doesn’t leave us to figure it out on our own! He tells us what to do and then provides the instructions and the power to accomplish the task.

12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Our battle is not against our body or our genetic makeup or our personalities or brains or other people; our battle for victory is a spiritual battle– the truth vs. the lie (Romans 1).

13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

The WHOLE armor, not just the parts we find comfortable or convenient. In order to be protected and to be able to fight, we must use everything God gives us. And I love how Paul says that here–“having done all, to stand firm.” When we’ve done all we can do, when we are at the end of our proverbial rope, Paul says we are to continue standing firm. Not in our might, not in our strength, but in His. When we rely on His strength, we will never fall.

14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,

Belt of truth— what we think. Where do we find truth? How do we apply it to our lives? Breastplate of righteousness— what we do. These things go together. We can’t successfully do right until we learn to think right. Actions are an overflow of our thoughts.

15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.

The Gospel brings peace, not just for salvation, but for daily living. To rest in his peace, preach the Gospel to yourself daily– remind yourself of his grace, mercy and forgiveness and how it applies to every sin and every struggle every day of your life. When Roman soldiers dug in to prepare for battle, the spikes on their shoes prevented them from retreating. They dug in and stood firm with the help of their shoes. We too can stand firm when we dig in and rely on the truth of the Gospel to bring us peace.

16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;

It is our faith that keeps the thoughts of the enemy from piercing us. When we believe the truth, we are shielded from the lies that condemn us. Notice that the enemy keeps firing at us—we will be tempted, we will have condemning thoughts—but our faith protects us from them. This is why it is so important to know the truth and believe it! It is our belief in the truth that keeps us from being damaged by the attack of the enemy. He will continue to attack, but we do not have to be injured.

17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,

The helmet of salvation—I love this part! Sometimes we feel like our minds are controlled by something other than ourselves. We know the thoughts we are having are ungodly, so sometimes in the heat of battle we even question our own salvation. You have thoughts that you know you don’t want and you know God doesn’t want you to have, so you wonder if you are even saved. You think, “There’s no way I can be saved and also desire the things I desire right now.” You are not alone in thinking that! But this promises us that our salvation protects our mind! Once you are saved, there’s no losing that salvation! Jesus told his followers that His disciples are in His hand and He is in the hand of the Father and NOTHING can snatch us away from them (John 10).

Being in the heat of battle doesn’t mean you aren’t saved—it confirms that you are saved! Satan doesn’t fight those who don’t belong to his enemy. If Satan is fighting for control of your mind, your mind is owned by God, and there’s nothing the enemy can do to change that. He can put thoughts in your mind, but he cannot own/control your mind. Your mind is God’s and you can choose to think thoughts that are godly to crush the tempting thoughts of the enemy.

The sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God—the Bible is our only offensive weapon. There is nothing we can do to battle the temptation of the enemy except to respond with the truth of God’s Word. Look to Jesus as your example. When He was tempted in the wilderness, he didn’t argue with Satan. He didn’t try to convince Satan that He was right and Satan was wrong. He simply responded with Scripture and the debate was done.

We must be the same way. When we face condemning thoughts, when we find ourselves wanting to do what we really don’t want to do, when we wonder if we are strong enough to be obedient, we must call it a lie and replace it with truth from the Bible (2Corinthians 10:2-7). No pondering the thought, no considering the possibility, no doubting your ability to fight it. Just replacing it with truth and believing it!

18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

Verses 10-17 are teaching from Paul. Now he gives some practical “how-to” advice so we know what spiritual warfare should look like in our lives. He says that we should be praying at all times in the Spirit. That means that we need to live in a constant state of communication with God. There are times when we have to be deliberate with our prayer time—close the door, be alone, get on our face before the Father. But we also need to be constantly living in a conversation with Him. Keep Him at the front of your mind and run everything through the filter of the Holy Spirit—before you do anything, say anything, think anything, go anywhere, stop and ask Him, “What do you want me to do?” Would you be comfortable taking Jesus where you are going? If the answer is no, don’t go! Would you be embarrassed to share the thought you’re having with the people around you? If the answer is yes, don’t entertain that thought anymore! Would you be ashamed if someone caught you doing what you’re doing? Then don’t do it. Replace the thought or action with the truth of Scripture. Easier said than done sometimes, I know, but recognizing sin patterns is the first step to breaking the control they have on your life. Live your life close to Christ and you will find that temptations lose their power over you.

Supplication means to make requests. God wants us to ask for his help! He wants us to stay alert so we don’t end up wondering, “What am I doing and how did I end up here?” Persevering means we keep going even when we’re tired and think we can’t go on. Paul says that in our weakness, we are made strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). When we come to the end of ourselves and our strength, yet we still manage to not fall to temptation, THAT is when we learn that God is faithful to keep us from temptation. We learn about Him, learn to trust Him more when we persevere beyond what we think we can do.

He also tells us to make supplication for the saints. When you are focused on yourself and your sin and your battle, it often makes the battle so big it’s overwhelming. When you begin to be overwhelmed by the fight, take your focus off of your battle and pray for others. Have a list of people you pray for. Carry it with you. When you begin to be too focused on yourself, spend time praying for others. Thinking about yourself less makes the battle bearable. And think, if you are praying for others and their battles, people are praying for you and your battle as well. Learn to bear the burdens of others and your burdens aren’t so heavy.

19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel,

We should boldly proclaim the Gospel to those around us. Not just speaking the Gospel on street corners to those who may need salvation, but sharing with people the impact the Gospel is having in your life, sharing on a daily basis what the Lord is doing in your life, through both your successes and your failures. When you are talking about the Lord’s work, you are more likely to continue to see His work in your life. Keeping it in the front of your mind is another way to fight the battle. It’s hard to forget what God has done for you if you are always talking about it.

20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. 

We need to remember that sometimes our boldness and faithfulness place us in chains, both literally and figuratively. People will reject the Gospel, they will reject you. Old friends will fall away as you make changes that reflect the light of Christ, but Paul says that even when we are persecuted for the truth, we are to continue to stand firm and continue to declare it boldly. 

I needed this reminder today because sometimes the battle seems overwhelming. I need to be reminded that if I try to fight the battle in my own strength, I will be overwhelmed and I will eventually fall. If, however, I remember to follow His instructions and lean on His strength, if I learn to fight with the truth of the Word, He will keep me standing fast against the enemy. Know that in whatever battle you are facing, He is faithful to see you through to victory– He will not leave you in defeat! And know that you are loved and prayed for.

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The Great Physician


The Lord Jesus did not come into the world, as some suppose, to be nothing more than a law giver, a king, a teacher, an example. Had this been all the purpose of his coming,  there would have been small comfort for us…. A teacher and an example might be sufficient for an unfallen being like Adam in the Garden of Eden. But fallen sinners like ourselves want healing first, before we can value rules.

The Lord Jesus came into the world to be a physician as well as a teacher. He knew the needs of human nature. He saw us all sick of a mortal disease, stricken with the plague of sin, and dying daily. He pitied us, and came down to bring divine medicine for our relief. He came to give health and cure to the dying, to heal the broken-hearted, and to offer strength to the weak. No sin-sick soul has gone too far for him. It is his glory to heal and restore to life the most desperate cases. For unfailing skill, for unwearied tenderness, for long experience of people’s spiritual ailments, the great Physician of souls stands alone. There is none like him.

But what do we know ourselves of this special role of Christ’s? Have we ever felt our spiritual sickness and applied to him for relief? We are never right in the sight of God until we do. We have got nothing right in religion if we think the sense of sin should keep us back from Christ. To feel our sins and know our sickness is the beginning of real Christianity. To be aware of our corruption and abhor our own transgressions is the first symptom of spiritual health. Happy indeed are those who have found out their soul’s disease! Let them know that Christ is the very physician they require, and let them consult him without delay.

J.C. Ryle (1816-1900), in Mark, Expository Thoughts on the Gospels, pp 23-24.

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Tony Dungy is my Hero


Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who hare spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, deceives himself. Galatians 6:1-3, ESV

I watched the press conference yesterday morning in which the Philadelphia Eagles formally announced their signing of Michael Vick. There has been great public outrage since word leaked Thursday night that the Eagles had signed him to a two year deal. One person in Philadelphia wondered aloud on a radio program why Vick had not been executed for his role in a dogfighting ring. The fact that, as a society, we are more outraged at dog fighting than we are of child molestation or spousal abuse is outrageous to me, but that’s another subject for another time. What impressed me during this press conference was Michael Vick’s mentor and adviser, former NFL coach Tony Dungy. Coach Dungy is an outspoken Christian. In fact, one of the reasons cited for his decision to leave coaching was the fact that he wanted to have more time to contribute to the lives of young men who needed guidance and direction. He left a multi-million dollar job to pursue the work of mentor ministry.

The Eagles have been blasted in the media for giving a second chance to Vick when he hasn’t proven that he deserves one. Last time I checked, that’s why we called a “chance” and not a “guarantee.” Michael Vick doesn’t deserve a second chance. None of us do. But Coach Dungy didn’t provide Michael with a second chance, he extended to him the grace of Christ. He didn’t sit at his home in Tampa and pray that Vick would contact him. He went to Leavenworth and extended grace to him where he was. Grace doesn’t say, “There’s help available to you after you do this list of things to prove you deserve it.” Grace says, “You don’t deserve it, but I’m giving it to you anyway.” What Vick does with the grace extended to him is ultimately up to him. What we do with the grace extended to us by God is up to us.

I understand the world’s reaction to Vick; those in PETA who have set animal life as their idol have no concept of the grace and mercy of Christ to work in and change the life of a person. What I don’t understand are those who claim to be Christians who join in the verbal lynching of a man who has done what he can in the limited amount of time given to him to show himself to be broken and contrite. What he has done to “deserve a second chance” is that he has been willing to confess his sins, apologize for them, humbly speak out against them, and then allow a mentor to walk through life with him. I don’t know too many of us average joes who will allow someone to truly mentor us, for to be mentored you must first admit you don’t know it all and second, submit to the guidance of another.

Part of the problem with the prison system in America is that it is not truly designed to rehabilitate offenders. It’s used to mark them with the Scarlet Letter of “Felon” and then, as a pridefully blind society, we force them to carry that stigma for the rest of their lives. If you tell someone they’re nothing but a worthless ex-con enough times, they will believe you. Coach Dungy has set an example for his fellow Christians of how we should respond to those who have paid their debt to society and need to be brought back into society with the goal of making them productive members of society.

Mentoring takes time, it takes wisdom, it takes commitment. But it’s a command of Scripture that applies to the lowest of criminals, to the most famous of criminals and to everyone in between. After all, Scripture tells us that if you are guilty of breaking one law, you’ve broken them all in the eyes of God, so none of us is really aren’t any better than the dog abuser, the child molester, the thief, or the murderer. Before Christ, we are all criminals in the eyes of God, and we all need a mentor to guide us through this life.

Put in the wrong circumstances at the wrong time with the wrong people, I’m sure I would be capable of anything. May I never think so highly of myself to look upon anyone caught in sin and say, “That would never be me.” Such a self-righteous attitude is the first step down the slippery slope to entanglement in atrocious sin. I know. I’ve been there before, and it took someone willing to walk with me back up the dirty slope to get me out. And if, God forbid, there is another lesson I must learn in this life that must begin in the pit, I pray there is a Tony Dungy standing there who is willing to walk that road alongside me.