Women’s Ministry

by

The Sins of Our Youth


Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O God! Psalm 25:7

This was the daily verse that appeared in my Twitter feed this morning. Thinking on some things I knew were coming up today, I was reflecting on the past a bit, and I was in a regretful frame of mind. My knee-jerk reaction to reading it was, “‘Remember not the sins of my youth.’ That must be nice. I can’t seem to get away from them.” Not exactly a heart of thankfulness to a loving and forgiving God, but I’ll blame it on the fact that I hadn’t had my coffee yet, and being awake definitely helps my spiritual well-being.

There are times in which it would be nice to be able to forget the sins of our youth. Some choices we make really do stay with us for a lifetime, even when we want to shake them off, be free from them and literally move on. But what we must remember is that Christ, by remembering not our sins, does allow us to move on. Those choices cannot be changed, and the consequences remain, but there is freedom from the condemnation of those sins. The word remember here isn’t the opposite of “forget” but means “don’t hold it against me”. The psalmist is saying, “I’m not that person anymore, please don’t hold my past over my head anymore.” And he makes a case to God for why God should not hold his sin against him.

First, the psalmist says that God’s love is everlasting. A loving God forgives sins, never to bring them up again. “Love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Isaiah says that in God’s love he took our sins upon His back, delivering us from a pit of destriction (Is. 38:17). Love doesn’t throw us back in the pit.

Second, the psalmist tells God that no longer holding our sin against us is for the sake of His goodness. How is forgiving our sin good for God? One way is that it enables us to join Him in His work. Now, does God really need us to do His work? No, but in His plan, He asks us to join Him in His Kingdom work. Makes sense to me; work is always easier when you’re doing it with people you love. But what the psalmist is saying is that, when our sins are forgiven and we are able to stand up from underneath their oppressive load, we can then take upon ourselves His easy load of service for the Kingdom. We can’t carry our sin and His Kingdom simultaneously. When we allow Him to take the sin, and the accompanying secrecy, shame, guilt, condemnation, it frees us up to serve Him like He has called us to serve Him.

A prime example of this is found in the life of Peter. I relate more to Peter than to any other person in Scripture, and he is a great testimony of being set free from the sins of his youth for the ultimate goodness of God. In Luke 22, Jesus tells Peter, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat,  but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

Jesus knows that Peter is about to fail Him miserably. He says, “I’m praying that you won’t. But when you do…” Have you ever had a conversation with someone like that? Has anyone had that conversation with you? “I’m warning you. I know where this is headed, and it’s going to be bad. I don’t want you to, but I know you’re going to anyway.” That’s pretty much what Jesus tells Peter.

But He adds something to the end of the statement. He adds hope and purpose to the failure. He tells Peter, “And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

So why does God forget our sins but not allow us to? One reason is because we can’t use past failure to connect with and strengthen others if we act as if it never happened. God trades in our beauty for ashes, He restores the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25), and He works all things together for our good and for His glory (Romans 8:28). And for Him to be able to make the worst decisions of our life beneficial, they must be exposed to the light and applied to the lives of others.

My ashes couldn’t have been traded for beauty if there hadn’t been people who had previously been sifted by Satan like wheat and then obediently strengthened this sister. Same goes for me. When I want to forget my times of sifting and “move on” with life, I remember that those times are a waste if they are not used to strengthen those behind me who are still spinning from their own sifting.

So I am thankful that God remembers not the sins of my youth. But today I am equally thankful that He makes sure I never forget them.

by

Myth of the Mean Girl: Living without Masks


I recently had a couple of conversations with a man about relationships between women. In one conversation he talked about his young daughter and her best friend and their love/hate relationship with one another, and in the other he mentioned the ever complex friendships between his wife and her friends. In both conversations he eventually ended his observations with a hopeless sounding statement of, “But you know, girls will be girls.”

He was talking about women hurting one another other with words and actions, about spending unhealthy amounts of time together until we blow up at one another, about betrayal and competition and unforgiveness. He’s bought into the myth of the Mean Girl. Our culture is built upon the idea that women are “Bridezillas” and “Real Housewives”, that we are “Gossip Girls” and “16 and Pregnant”, or that we are participants on “The Bachelor”, competing with one another for the attention and affection of a man. Young girls today watch tv and are taught to treat one another as competition at best and mortal enemies at worst. Girls believe this is how women are to behave, and so that is how they behave.

I used to believe the myth, too. Even in the church, all I had really seen was gossipy competition and hurt feelings, with excuses ranging from hormones to home life, but never hearing that there was another option for how women could behave.

But then I spent some time in a little town called Wake Forest (my parents kindly refer to it as the “seminary bubble”), surrounded by people who, for the most part, were genuinely pursuing Christ and desperately seeking to serve Him and be conformed to His image. There, I found a group of women who were more interested in pleasing God than pleasing one another, who were seeking Christ more than a husband, and who desired to learn from one another more than they desired to prove they were better than everyone else.

Does that mean we were without drama? Of course not! I distinctly remember one tear-filled confrontation between myself and two friends that ended in my throwing a pencil at one of them. I cried on a professor when she compared me to another student and I defiantly declared that I was NOT that person and then intentionally completed a project the way I wanted to, just to drive the point home. We had hopeless crushes on indecisive men and sometimes responded to the corresponding broken hearts with a frustrated “I told you so”. I was jealous when I friend was chosen for a position over me, and had many snarky conversations about “those girls”; the cute, and therefore shallow, ones that we were convinced were not “serious students” like us because they only came to seminary to land a husband. Sometimes, girls will be girls.

But there was a distinct difference in that time of life compared to previous times, and I have tried to carry it with me since I left that precious circle of friends. The difference is that, when we walked in the flesh and hurt one another’s feelings, we didn’t just move on with life, piling offense upon offense. We faced the moment and faced it together. We sought the wisdom of Scripture, we confessed our sins and shortcomings, we asked for forgiveness, we prayed together. Then we worked to walk together in the Spirit. We studied the Word together. We confronted weaknesses in our friends’ lives before they became strongholds of sin. We opened ourselves up to humble and transparent examination and offered the same to one another.We lived for a season without masks, and it was life changing. No one had it all together, and no one expected anyone else to have it all together. In fact, we called you out on it if you started acting like you did!

In short, we lived lives of discipleship together. We desired to be more like Christ and we expected our friends to help us along in that journey, not hold us back from our goal. The Christian walk is the only race in which every person who crosses the finish line is a “winner” and in turn, makes every other finisher that much more victorious. We are “more than conquerors” because we are not competing against our fellow runners; we’re all on the same team!

So will girls be girls? Yes, as long as we believe the lie of the world that we are competition for one another and as long as we hold one another back, pursuing goals of our flesh and our pride, devouring one another with our words and deeds. But if we will commit to humble discipleship, to encouraging one another, if we will transparently walk alongside one another and bear one another’s burdens as teammates and not enemies, then the type of girls we become will be more like Christ and not like the world.

Women don’t have to “be girls”. We can be like Jesus.

How have you fought to overcome the “myth of the mean girls”? How does your circle of friends lift one another up instead of tearing one another down? Can women walk in the Spirit together, in grace and Truth, or will girls be girls?

by

A Pastor’s Heart: Guest Post


This is a post from my friend Brian Miller. He and I work together as teachers and he, like myself, is also involved in ministry work outside of our school. Brian has previously served as a Youth Pastor, and he wrote this several weeks ago while thinking about many of his students who, like nearly 90% of students raised in church, fall away from their church community when they reach adulthood. It moved me and reminded me of how we should pray for one another and encourage those who have wandered away.

It also reminded me that we, as a church, should cultivate an environment that is attractive and appealing as a safe place for community so that, when people leave, they miss the Body of Christ and long to return.

Thank you, Brian, for sharing a Pastor’s heart for his sheep.

…in Church this morning I was overcome with such Love…I started thinking about all those Loved Ones that have kinda fallen away from my life…I wrote a poem for you and am praying for you…

…you beg God to make you whole again, but I wonder if you understand? You have always been “right” before Him, but perhaps your choices have taken you out of the Peace you felt in His hand…
…You decided your way was best, God begged you to wait…instead you went ahead…broken hearts you left in your wake…
…Now those who helped you fall have convinced you they’re your friends, they now counsel you 24/7, they say I’m your enemy til the end…
…Now I know in your might you’re trying to seek God’s Will, but sometimes that task is scary cuz you can’t rationalize how you would deal…
…You say you’re getting there, but yet you have no peace…you know that’s not God’s Will…please let Him take the shackles off your feet…
…I think the devil is distraught by the fact that I‘m not mad at God or you and I don’t complain that this isn’t fair…because God is Love, Faithful, and can Win with any card He’s dealt…whether you come back or cast your ambitions into the air…
…As for me I still Love, Pray, Forgive you and pray God’s Love is your Life’s Seal…why do I still care? Because Loving you is God’s Will…

Some try to rationalize their sin by saying it doesn’t involve anyone else and no one else is hurt by their actions. Some say they aren’t missed when they leave a congregation to go to another or when they just leave the church altogether. I tried to justify my sin like that. I pray that this peek into the heart of someone who is called to shepherd the flock of God will remind us all that our struggles and our times of wandering impact not only our personal walk with the Father, but also those with whom we walk this journey of life.

When you miss someone who has gone away, let them know. If you know they’ve wandered because of sin, confront them in love and love them back to the congregation of Christ. But above all, love them. Love them with the Gospel.

by

Equal Standing, Different Roles


Rob Bell’s book Love Wins has begun countless conversations in the last month or so concerning myriad topics of faith: salvation, damnation, God’s love vs. God’s wrath, Christian fellowship, heresy… the list could go on and on.

But this morning I came across a blog discussing a portion of Rob’s theology that has not been nationally dissected: his use of describing God in the feminine form. On the blog for the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Diane Montgomery addresses this portion of Rob’s work in a post entitled Our Mother Who Art in Heaven: Examining Rob Bell’s “She”.

The following paragraph is from Montgomery’s post and includes an excellent illustration of not only a classic misinterpretation of Scripture, but also a simple illustration of the biblical principle accurately portrayed in a modern comparison:
Midway through the video, Bell uses the “banner” verse of egalitarians, Gal. 3:28. Paul writes, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” He goes on to explain what he means by saying in 4:1, “What I am saying is that as long as the heir is a child, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate.” As believers in Christ we are equal, but that does not mean our roles are the same. In Christ, a CEO of a company is equal to one of his employees in a cubicle. However, they have different roles. The employee would not take charge of the CEO and the CEO would not do errands for the employee. They are equal in Christ, but carry out different tasks.

Scripture is clear that God is not into “Jim Crow” segregation of men and women. There is no “separate but equal” in the Kingdom of God. But at the same time, while there is equal standing and equal rights, there are different roles to be filled, much like the above CEO and “pencil pusher” illustration shows.

Along the same lines, in a recent episode of the television show Undercover Boss, the CEO of a shipping company attempted to go to work on one of his packing and assembly lines to see what really goes on in the warehouses he owns. He was fired from the job. Was he an employee of the company? Yes. Does he receive the same benefits of being an employee of that company? Yes. But was he able to equally perform a role for which he was neither suited nor trained? No.

Same thing in the body of Christ, whether that is the corporate body of the Universal church, the local church body where you attend, or your place within your own home. All believers have equal standing and rights before the Father. But all are equipped, gifted, trained and expected to perform different roles so that the overall work of the Kingdom is fulfilled. Like the CEO trying to pack and load shipments, when we attempt to fill a role which we were not meant to fill, something is left to be desired. There is no harmony and continuity to the overall workplace. When the owner botched his packing and loading job, the whole warehouse was affected. When we attempt to fill roles in the church and in the home that we are not meant to fill, the church and the home are negatively impacted as well.

THAT is the message of complementarianism. NOT that men are somehow better than women, nor that women inherently have less worth than men. The message is that we should find that role for which God created us and thrive in it instead of fighting against our Creator and His good plan.

by

Jesus and Suicide


5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple 6 and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, “‘He will command his angels concerning you,’ and “‘On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.'” 7 Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Matthew 4

One of the greatest blessings of teaching at a Christian school is that once a week, we worship together in a chapel service. The worship through singing is led by our students, and then we usually have a guest speaker share a message with us. It is a midweek refuge, a time set aside to stop the rush of classes and homework and grading and teaching and discipline and meetings to just gather together around the Throne of Grace and remember that before we are teachers, students, and administrators, we are brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s a time I treasure each week.

This week in chapel, a minister named Walt from The Hopeline came to chapel and shared with our students about their ministry. Through his message he gave them a wide open opportunity to begin some real heart conversations about real issues they face everyday: abuse, bullying, cutting, pornography, sex, drug use, and suicide. By just speaking the words with love and compassion, in a church sanctuary, with no judgment, no horror, no hatred of the thought of those struggles, he gave our kids permission to speak safely about the deepest struggles of their lives, and I love him and his ministry for that.

In the course of his talk, he made one comment that has stuck with me. He was talking about suicide and he mentioned in passing that Satan tempted Jesus to “just jump”. He was referring to the three temptations Satan presented to Jesus after His 40 days of fasting in the wilderness.

When considering that passage in Matthew, I have thought of Satan tempting Jesus with His trust of God the Father and His Word. He tempted Jesus to jump based on Psalm 91:11-12 in which the psalmist wrote: “11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. 12 On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.” Satan was essentially saying to Jesus, “Jump. See if your Father really meant what He said in that Psalm.”

I wonder if Satan wasn’t also tempting Jesus to take control of His own life.
Jesus had just spent 40 days in the desert preparing for his time of ministry. I don’t know what the Father revealed to Him during that time. But I have no doubt that, at that moment on the Temple, Jesus understood fully His purpose for being on the planet; to teach, to heal, to save, to confront, to love, to be betrayed, to suffer, and to die. I can imagine that, standing on that highest pinnacle of the Temple, thinking through all He knew he was about to face, this thought could have crossed His mind: “He’s right. Just jump. Why go through all of that if I don’t have to? The Father may want me to sacrifice myself, but it is my life to put down and take back up (John 10:17-18). I can put it down now and avoid all of the pain and suffering I am about to endure.”

Jesus was tempted with suicide. He was tempted to just jump. To take the easy way out. To avoid the betrayal, mocking, fatigue, pain, suffering of life on this planet and return to heaven where He was worshiped and adored.

But He didn’t. He put Himself aside, emptied Himself, denied Himself, and “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2). He was tempted in the now and said no because He knew there was a greater weight of glory to receive in eternity through the suffering (2 Corinthians 4:17).

So what do you do when the overwhelming “NOW” tempts you to “just jump”?

  • Remember that we have a High Priest who has been tempted in every way, yet without sin.
  • Be like Jesus; quote Truth, take the thought captive.
  • Take the moment to stop the spiral into now and bring yourself back to an eternal perspective. “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
  • And tell someone. Expose that temptation to the Light. Call a trusted friend.
  • Call the Hopeline at 1-800-394-4673.
  • Go to their website, www.thehopeline.com, and chat with someone.
  • Text DMHopeline to 63389 and just reach out to someone.

But more than anything, remember that Jesus knows the thoughts you’re thinking; he may very well have been tempted with those thoughts Himself. He understands the feeling of exhaustion and despair and wanting it all to just end. But through His endurance, He provided for us an eternal way out of the pain and misery of being separated from the One True Healer. He gives you the way out of it. He suffered and showed us how to suffer for the glory of God, with a perspective on eternal glory and not temporary suffering.

Do you deal with thoughts of suicide? Do you know someone who does? How could this thought of a Savior who has fought and overcome the same temptation bring comfort and encouragement to a life full of pain and heartache? How does Christ’s victory over death heal our broken hearts?

I will leave you with this comforting and hope-filled passage:

14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4

Do you need mercy and grace to endure in your time of need? Draw near to Him. He knows you pain and suffering, intimately and personally, and knows how to overcome it.