Women’s Ministry

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Rights, Respect, and Modesty


For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. Romans 14:7-13

 

It’s summer again, so it’s time for a reminder about clothing and modesty. Each year around this time, men and women alike express concerns to members of church leadership about visible underclothing, short skirts and shorts and low neck lines. Here are a few rules of thumb for being beautiful and stylish while remaining modest.

If you have a full length mirror, use it. If you don’t have a full length mirror, get one. Looking at yourself before you head out the door is the most practical way to avoid embarrassing “wardrobe malfunctions.”

This season, sheer clothing is “in.” But when wearing this style, please remember to check what is showing beneath your sheer top. If your bra is showing, remember that it’s called underwear for a reason and keep it covered. If your shirt and your bra are sheer, then people can see more than just your cleavage.

Tank tops and camisoles are wardrobe life savers, especially for women who have more difficulties finding clothing that covers cleavage appropriately. It is possible to purchase clothing that is stylish but not distracting.

If you aren’t sure about an outfit, ask someone. If no one is available to check an outfit, a good rule to remember is “When in doubt, don’t.”

Do a “Bend and Squat” (not Bend and Snap) Test. If you can’t bend over or squat without body parts hanging out, it’s best to change your outfit.

The best thing to remember is “Keep your cracks covered.” That covers about everything.

Please know that these reminders are not about legalism at all, but about our helping everyone at church (and elsewhere– we’re Christians seven days a week and represent Christ everywhere we go) without distraction. As sisters in Christ, we need to do everything possible to make church an especially safe place for brothers and sisters to gather for worship without being worried about seeing more of one another than we need to.

Below you will find a couple of links to some excellent resources concerning modesty. If you have a teen (or an adult!) you would like to approach with love and grace about their clothing choices, the video “What Guys Think About Modesty” is an actual letter from a young man who expresses his struggle with remaining pure in his thoughts when we practice our “rights” to wear whatever we want.

The Lord wants us to do nothing that causes others to stumble or that would bring dishonor to Him. Let us always pray and encourage each other to be God’s women, holy and modest in all we wear, and in all we do!

Two resources:
CJ Mahaney’s Series on Modesty

What Guys Think About Modesty

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The Messiah Complex: Kill It or Be Killed By It


Today I’m guest blogging over on my friend Kim Campbell’s site, kd316.com.

Here’s an excerpt:

My Messiah complex has gotten in the way, and I have tried to meet every need I’ve come across, say yes to every opportunity offered to me.

The sad thing about that Messiah complex is that it deceives us into do more than even our Messiah did.

Jesus did the work the Father gave to him to do. Nothing more. Nothing less. As you read through the Gospels, you can see the “missed opportunities” in the ministry of Jesus. But when your goal is to do only the things the Father gives you to do, there are no missed opportunities.

For the rest of the article, click here.

While you’re there, check out Kim’s extensive wisdom on a variety of issues pertaining to women and living lives of surrendered faith to Christ. You’ll be blessed!

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Missing the Trees for the Forest


24 And he went with him. And a great crowd followed him and thronged about him. 25 And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, 26 and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. 27 She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. 28 For she said, “If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.” 29 And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. 30 And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone out from him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my garments?” 31 And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched me?'” 32 And he looked around to see who had done it. 33 But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth. 34 And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.” ~The Gospel of Mark, Chapter 5

It’s easy to miss the trees for the forest.

I know that saying is usually expressed the other way around, but when you are serving people, sometimes it’s easy to be overwhelmed with the great need surrounding us.

Overwhelmed by the number of people who seem to enjoy their lives of destructive self-indulgence.

Overwhelmed by lifelong victims of the sins of others.

Overwhelmed by the pain and need of the sick and the dying, whether it is spiritual or physical.

It is so easy to become overwhelmed, in fact, that we can become apathetic toward the individuals who are genuinely seeking truth and healing and wholeness. When the forest is dark and fearful and consuming, it’s easy to miss the beautiful trees that are found interspersed with the scariness.

I love this account of Jesus and this woman, because it reminds me that Jesus saw both the forest and the trees. Jesus was in the midst of the crowd, not up on a balcony watching as they passed. He knew their hearts and intentions and was not wearied and overwhelmed by the masses seeking to be entertained and amazed.

He was right in the center of consumeristic religion.

But he didn’t miss the one who was genuinely seeking the healing of the Great Physician.

And he didn’t send her away. He didn’t get angry about her touching him. He wasn’t concerned that stopping for her might throw off his schedule. He healed her.

He didn’t just let the power seep from his body and keep walking. The work wasn’t as important to him as the relationship. He not only healed her, he connected with her.

There is so much that grabs my heart and challenges my spirit in this account. But that last point convicts me more than anything else. As women, we can become so focused on the work that we overlook the relationships. We become like Martha in the kitchen when the Lord said that it was Mary who chose the better thing by sitting as his feet in fellowship.

As this year draws to a close, I have spent much time reflecting on the cost of investing more in the work than in the relationships. It takes a toll; on the heart, on the mind, on the body, on relationships. Focusing too much on the work eventually harms the work itself.

For 2012, it is my goal to seek first His kingdom, to minister to the trees, and let Him add the forest as He sees fit.

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Poetic Application of Romans 12:1-2


I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

For the last several weeks, my 9th graders have been discussing the transforming power of transformed thoughts. This idea applies to relationships; with guys, with other girls, with friends, with family… How we think should transform how we live. But how do we do that? How do we actively change our thoughts and, in turn, use our changed thoughts to change our hearts and our actions?

We watched this video in class today, and it spurred some great conversation about how the world influences our passive thoughts and attitudes and how those thoughts and attitudes influence our choices. It reminded me of The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis’ classic work which imagines an exchange of letters between an experienced demon and a less mature demon-in-training. The methods of the evil one are not obvious, but are subtle, passive, sneaky. In this poem, the author writes A Letter to Satan, telling him just what she thinks about his schemes and control in her life.

Watch the video, check out the lyrics below, and think about this: If you looked at the influence of media in your life and compared your thoughts and attitudes to the Word, what sort of letter would you write to Satan about how evil has influenced your life?

Dear Satan,

I’m writing you this letter to inform you that our relationship is officially done.

You just lost one!

Cause for too long I’ve battled in my mind

Your voice v. God’s v. mine

For too long I’ve entertained the same thoughts as Cain

Like how truthfully my flesh loves to be first

How my pride tries to cover and hide so I can’t see the extent of this curse

So I’m returning all your gifts

Rejecting all your myths

See all this time I thought that I had control, but you were controlling this

Despite me doing good works in the church

Thinking I was a Christian

All the while allowed your spirit to lurk

What a deception

You went to church with me

A thwarted perception

Saying that I love God louder and louder

But had a spiritual infection

I see you’re a deceiver; you take advantage of every weak part

I could come to church every week

As long as I don’t apply the word to my heart

We were friends because I did what you wanted me to

I thought a little sin wouldn’t hurt

I mean I didn’t want to sleep with you

I just thought it would be cool to flirt

But I see you play for keeps

Now I know that the Word is true

What you sow is what you reap

I keep saying I’m so blessed, I’m so blessed

All the while secretly giving you a kiss

I remember all the places we used to go

Now inwardly it makes me sick

Like how you talked me into going to the club

At first I really didn’t want to go

I thought it wouldn’t affect me

But while I was there my lust began to flare and I got hot and heavy

Started thinking about the dudes in the room

Wanting to ride off in their Chevy

Or the comedy spots where we sat and laughed enjoying ourselves all night

When they were joking and mocking the church like that situation is light

And explicit sexual content echoed through that mic

And I laughed like it was alright

Now I know God wasn’t laughing

Even though you and I was on a roll

I see it was because my heart was so numb and cold

In the back of my mind

I thought I’d really give God 100% when I’m old

Once I’m done having my fun

Then I thought what if I don’t make it past 25, then what?

What did I live for?

I just can’t ignore anymore this proposal from the Lord

So I changed my number so you would no longer call

And I would no longer fall

But even though I did all that you still controlled me from afar

Because I was just trying to be a better person

Stopped clubbing, stopped sex, stopped cursing

Dropped friends, cause of greed stopped working

But stopping things don’t rid the seed of the serpent

It was all self-righteousness

A righteousness I created

It’s like using filthy rags to take a bath

When the truth is my entire sin nature is bad

And me stopping those things never dealt with the wickedness of my heart

If I thought someone did me wrong

I was so quick to lash back, all the while singing a praise song

Even though the Bible says repay not evil for evil, I refused to believe

And your strings got me doing things that I can’t even help

Trying to love my brother but always thinking about myself

What a curse

Like I could run up and hug someone at church

But because inwardly I wanted to be first

Didn’t realize it but I was wishing them the worst

Although the outside was clean

The inside of the cup was filthy and mean

So I wrestled with the conclusion

Maybe I’ve been excluded from being able to live this Christian life

But then that sounds like your voice

You’ve influenced so much of my life

Those events help me see how powerless I am

And the reality is there is only one way

And before I was set free, I had to realize I was a slave

I have no merit, virtue or favor with God

It’s Christ’ poured out lifeblood that saves

And I’m sick of it, my sin

I’ve defended it, time and time again

Dead in my transgression but now I’ve come on out of the grave

Because this new relationship is based solely by grace through faith

And my life is a result of what I believe

Since you shall know a tree by the root and the fruit

So rather than just dress modestly, I’m checking my heart too

Making sure there is no vanity

Or that I’m dressing to grab the attention of humanity

Because I know what I can do, if I remain in a relationship with you

My potential outside of Christ is extremely detrimental

So I’m clinging on with all I’ve got

So now when I think of all the movies we went to

Man I get so hot

Cause Christ has won my heart

I can’t sit there and glory in the violence on that screen

And even though I used to justify by saying I never hurt anyone

I was being entertained by the very thing

God choose to destroy the world for in Genesis 6

He said the earth was corrupt and filled with violence

So the only reason I wasn’t destroyed

Was God’s kindness

You see you helped me build a tower like you did with Nimrod

But I’m tearing it down for my God

By the way I’m clearing out my ipod

I’m giving you back all your music

Couldn’t see it before

This tool you were using

Different song

Different score

Brought the same conclusion

All about lust, money, self and sex

Yet those things are the reason Christ was out to death

Who you using next

Chris Brown, T-pain, souljah boy, ne-yo, Beyonce or Game?

Every artist motivation is the same

To take my heart away from the reason Christ came

I could say I’m saved all the while exalting men

Not a fanatic for Christ cause I’m a TI fan

No-one no-one, not even Alicia keys supersedes the reason Christ bleeds

No-one no-one has even ever heard Alicia sing about why Christ is grieved

And I thought her music was positive

But when I look into the word, Christ and Alicia are opposites

Christ is on my mind

So you won’t see me bobbing it

Because He’s all I need

He is all I need

Cause all that music was to glorify me

Yet the reason Christ came was to mortify me

To crucify my flesh

Not to be the Christian in Christian-Dior up in the video with Kanye West

Now I see

How he’s saying he’s Christian yet he’s exalting women, sex, and greed

And I said I was just listening to the beats

You had me so blind to the content

I was so deceived

Didn’t realized Satan disguised as I was hitting repeat

At the same time they were pushing repeat when my savior was beat

Pierced in His wrist and feet

To take away these worldly lusts these songs stir within me

So I confess

I’m no longer impressed with you whack lines

You’ll give me all your kingdoms if I bow and worship at your shrine

And I used to

But now I’m adopted into the vine

So every lie you told me

Like you being my homie

That I could rep Christ as long as we kicked it on the low key

I’m done with you and all the excuses you gave

Like living holy is a long process

But the truth is, you didn’t want me to change

I used to be a daughter of lies

You used to be my master

But now I’m at the feet of Christ with me box of alabaster

Because He redeemed me, set me free

And I will spend my time, all of eternity

Learning Him

Wiping His feet with my tears

Oh well, there will be no tears in heaven

But I will sit and give Him reverence

Because I know I’m undeserving of His love

See I’m now covered in the blood of the Son

So in case you forgot

I’m writing this letter to inform you that our relationship is officially done,

You just lost one!

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Failing to Notice


In an email conversation with a friend last week, I was challenged to consider the idea that maybe I take life a bit too seriously. Perhaps I should lighten up, think a bit less, turn off my mind and just enjoy certain things without examining their deeper meanings or subconscious influences on my life. Now this friend didn’t say these things or challenge me to do so, but the course of the conversation led me to consider these things myself.

I’ve been in a season of reflecting on the question, “God, what in the world am I doing here?” and to have someone who’s not in my head ask the same question was disheartening to say the least. It caused the question to move from a philosophical inquiry to a full out examination of how I do life and teaching and ministry.

But this morning I read a “knot” by R.D. Laing while doing some research for class, and it confirmed for me that, in this case, to follow the masses would be the worst plan for me and completely counter to everything I’ve spent the last decade of my life working to change in my life.

The range of what we think and do
Is limited by what we fail to notice.
And because we fail to notice
That we fail to notice
There is little we can do
To change
Until we notice
How failing to notice
Shapes our thoughts and deeds.

There seems to be an epidemic of failing to notice in our society today. But the more time I spend reading and trying to share what I am learning about learning and thinking and intentional living, the more I see that, for many, the problem isn’t just not knowing. The problem is that many do not want to know. Because to know is to reflect, and to reflect is to critique. And often, to critique means to change. And change is a double problem, because to change, one must first admit they were wrong and must second work hard to discover the error and correct it.

Ignorance truly is bliss. But for the believer, to live in ignorance is to live in disobedience. To be created in the image of the omniscient God is to possess an inherent curiosity, a desire to both know and be known.

So how do we begin to think and to know in a world that emphasizes being known at the expense of knowing anything beyond ourselves?

Today, I believe I will just say that a first step would be to simply begin noticing just how much we fail to notice each and every day. From the mundane to the grandiose, there is so much we fail to notice around us.

Today, I believe I will simply stop and notice.