At the recent Exodus International Freedom Conference, a gentleman from a large metropolitan area who runs a ministry center for people who seek healing from various forms of sexual brokenness and struggle asked a very good question. Due to time constraints at the workshop, I did not have time to answer him as fully as I would have liked, so I am posting a more complete answer here.
This minister essentially said that, due to the current political and social buzz surrounding issues related to homosexuality, he has a very difficult time finding counselors in his area who will work with people who come to them declaring that they are seeking healing from homosexuality as one of their counseling goals.
This very question was the inspiration and purpose of our workshop. I for one agree with the removal of homosexuality from the DSM as a psychological diagnosis; it’s not a psychological issue, it’s a spiritual one. And I would issue caution going to a counselor to discuss “Unwanted Same-sex attraction”, even though that “diagnosis” is still listed in the DSM-IV. Reason being that the suggested treatment is not to help someone work through issues and seek a change in orientation. Rather, accepted treatment of unwanted same-sex attraction to help the person accept their homosexuality and learn to embrace and celebrate who they were created to be. That approach will (hopefully) be contrary to the teaching being received in church and discipleship and will, therefore, be counterproductive to the person seeking help. Those working within the counseling and church communities need to be on the same page, working toward the same goals, which should be the goals set forth by the person seeking help and wholeness.
So, to answer his question, I teach that it is the role of a counselor, whether they are biblical or secular in their worldview, to deal mainly with a client’s emotional and psychological struggles. There are myriad issues facing someone who struggles with unwanted same-sex attraction; sometimes it’s the impact of traumatic events early in life. Sometimes a client needs to sort through issues concerning emotional entanglement, overcoming a “victim mentality” or other misconception of self, or an issue of addiction to either people or chemicals. Notice that these are all issues that are separate from sexual orientation itself; many people in unhealthy heterosexual relationships deal with the same issues and move from one unhealthy heterosexual relationship to the next, never correcting their core issues and beliefs concerning themselves and God. It is the role of a counselor to help someone learn new ways of relating to themselves and to others, to work through and heal past wounds.
It would fall under the role of the church (discipleship and accountability partners specifically) to walk alongside someone struggling with homosexuality to teach them how to apply what they are learning with their counselor in a biblically correct manner. Counselors can teach behavior modification and cognitive therapy techniques to help a person see why they’ve made the choices they’ve made and how they can begin to make new, healthier choices. But it is only through intense discipleship and time in the Word can one be transformed through the renewing of their mind (Romans 12). And it is only through the renewing of the mind, the breaking down of strongholds, the revealing of lies believed and the replacement of them with Truth that can bring true peace and healing in Christ. What is beautiful and complex about both the design of humanity and the grace of God is that, as a person sorts through emotional and psychological issues and becomes healthy and balanced in those areas, believing spiritual truth and allowing it to soak to the heart becomes easier as well. Working in all areas, a little bit at a time but all at the same time, allows for continual healing and consistent work towards the goal of conformity to the image of Christ.
So if you are searching for a counselor to help deal with issues related to unwanted same-sex attraction and you do not have an Exodus ministry or counselor in your area (You can find out if you do here), find a counselor you trust to help you identify and improve upon counseling related issues and find someone in your local church you trust who will walk through the spiritual implications of your struggles. Humans are complex beings, and matters of identity and relationship impact us wholly, mind, body and spirit. Surround yourself with competent people who can help you find healing and wholeness in all of those areas.
Christianity
Exodus Freedom Conference: The Reality of Grace
Last week’s Exodus International Freedom Conference was a HUGE blessing to all who attended! This year’s theme was “The Reality of Grace” and each speaker brought a message of that reality to those in attendance. God’s grace IS a reality in which we can rest, and it was such an encouraging reminder to me of His love and grace.
The workshop I presented with Salida Brooks was well received and encouraging to many. We spoke about the role of the church and the counseling community in the healing process of those who have suffered trauma.
Please continue to be in prayer for those who counsel and minister on the “front lines”. Pray that those seeking healing will find it in the Great Physician.
Several opportunities for further ministry with other groups around the nation were presented; please pray that God will open doors for unified work with other ministries.
During our workshop there were several excellent questions asked that we were only able to give very brief answers to due to time constraints, so over the next few days I will be addressing some of them at length.
If you have questions concerning ministry with people who struggle with overcoming past trauma or same-sex attraction (both were topics addressed in our workshop), please post them in the comments section and I will do my best to answer them.
The Sermon on the Cross
When I was in seminary, I took a New Testament survey course. Like most classes, very little of the actual lecture time sticks with me to this day. There was, however, one lecture that was seared into my long term memory, and I am reminded of the lessons of that day each year we observe the Holy Week leading up to Easter Sunday.
In the course of teaching through the Gospel of Mark, my professor took a moment to explain a passage from a point of view brand new to me.
And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Mark 15:33-34
For most of my life, I have looked at that cry as the ultimate example of the humanity of Christ. For the first time in eternity, the Son was experiencing separation from the Father, and, in his humanity, cried out from the feeling or emotion of abandonment. I have taken much comfort in knowing that Jesus understands how it feels to feel abandoned, even when we know Truth says we are never left nor forsaken.
I also know that this is a quotation from Psalm 22:1, and this passage in Mark has served as an example that, in our darkest times, we should lean on Scripture as a guide for how to express ourselves when we may not have our own words to use.
But my professor brought up a cultural context point that revolutionized how I read this passage, and how I viewed Christ on the cross.
At this time, people didn’t have easy access to the Scriptures. This was an oral society. Most were illiterate, and the Scripture they did know was memorized in large sections. Rabbis would begin teaching by quoting the first part of a passage to jog their listeners’ memories, and the people could most likely fall right in, quoting the passage along with the rabbi.
My professor proposed to us that, yes, Jesus is crying out in agony over His separation from the Father. He is experiencing loneliness and feelings of abandonment unlike anything He had experienced ever before.
But, like every other aspect of His time on this earth, this cry was not about Himself. It’s about more than that. More than abandonment. More than fulfilling prophecy. While He is separated from the Father, hanging on a cross, naked, exposed, in agonizing pain, physically dying, Jesus is thinking of the feelings and thoughts of those around Him.
And He begins to teach.
I had never really studied Psalm 22 before this day of New Testament class, but I went right then and read it in its entirety. It is not a Psalm of abandonment, defeat or doubt like I had assumed it would be. On this Maundy Thursday, the day of the Last Supper, the evening of the arrest and trial of Christ, consider those few words of Christ as his last word as Rabbi. He starts the Psalm, knowing those standing at his feet will be able to quote the remainder in their hearts and minds. He is starting them on the road to Truth. He is reminding them that this is not the end.
At His lowest point, He is encouraging others.
Ponder these passages of Psalm 22 and marvel at the self-sacrificial love of our Lord:
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? 2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. 3 Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. 4 In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them.
Jesus acknowledge His humanity; He cried out in his emotions of abandonment and loneliness, but He quickly reminds Himself that, just like God has always done with His people, He will also deliver His Son in due time. Like this, we also can acknowledge our feelings and emotions while still speaking truth to our hearts.
5 To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame. 6 But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people. 7 All who see me mock me; they make mouths at me; they wag their heads; 8 “He trusts in the LORD; let him deliver him; let him rescue him, for he delights in him!” 9 Yet you are he who took me from the womb; you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts. 10 On you was I cast from my birth, and from my mother’s womb you have been my God. 11 Be not far from me, for trouble is near, and there is none to help.
This section of the Psalm accurately describes Jesus’ life and current situation. He reminds His followers that He has consistently fulfilled prophecy, and is continuing to do so, even in this time of mocking rejection. It’s as if Jesus is pleading with them, “Don’t forget! This has been the plan from the beginning!”
12 Many bulls encompass me; strong bulls of Bashan surround me; 13 they open wide their mouths at me, like a ravening and roaring lion. 14 I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast; 15 my strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws; you lay me in the dust of death. 16 For dogs encompass me; a company of evildoers encircles me; they have pierced my hands and feet— 17 I can count all my bones– they stare and gloat over me; 18 they divide my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots. 19 But you, O LORD, do not be far off! O you my help, come quickly to my aid! 20 Deliver my soul from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dog! 21 Save me from the mouth of the lion! You have rescued me from the horns of the wild oxen! 22 I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will praise you:
Again, this Psalm confirms that the life of Christ was prophesied centuries before. As He hangs on the cross, naked, thirsty, attacked, exhausted, Jesus clings to the Truth that His Father will save Him, is the only One that can save Him, from His current condition.We, too, can remember that God is our ultimate Savior, and He will save us from the worst of temporal situations, in His time and in His way.
23 You who fear the LORD, praise him! All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him, and stand in awe of him, all you offspring of Israel! 24 For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him. 25 From you comes my praise in the great congregation; my vows I will perform before those who fear him. 26 The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied; those who seek him shall praise the LORD! May your hearts live forever! 27 All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations shall worship before you. 28 For kingship belongs to the LORD, and he rules over the nations. 29 All the prosperous of the earth eat and worship; before him shall bow all who go down to the dust, even the one who could not keep himself alive. 30 Posterity shall serve him; it shall be told of the Lord to the coming generation; 31 they shall come and proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn, that he has done it.
This Psalm ends not in hopeless defeat, but in fulfilled prophecy and promises of future fulfillment as well. It ends not in defeat, but in glorious victory! In verse 25, it is prophesied that the Christ would fulfill His vows, He would submit to the will of the Father. His dying on the cross fulfilled that prophecy. If the end of verse 25 is fulfilled, how much more can we claim the promise of verse 26 that “the afflicted shall eat and be satisfied”? Because Jesus fulfills His vows, the rest of the Psalm can be fulfilled as well: all the kings of the earth will bow before Him, all the coming generations will hear of His great name. All the nations of the earth will be blessed because He was faithful to His vow. What good news!
What a Gospel!
So ponder these things in your heart this weekend. Ponder the perfect humanity of Jesus, even in His weakest moment. Ponder His need to speak the Truth of Scripture to Himself in His moment of weakness to find strength and resolve.
But above all else, ponder His great love and selflessness, that He preached a word of encouragement and victory to those who looked up Him, and to those of us who still look upon Him and believe.
A Pastor’s Heart: Guest Post
This is a post from my friend Brian Miller. He and I work together as teachers and he, like myself, is also involved in ministry work outside of our school. Brian has previously served as a Youth Pastor, and he wrote this several weeks ago while thinking about many of his students who, like nearly 90% of students raised in church, fall away from their church community when they reach adulthood. It moved me and reminded me of how we should pray for one another and encourage those who have wandered away.
It also reminded me that we, as a church, should cultivate an environment that is attractive and appealing as a safe place for community so that, when people leave, they miss the Body of Christ and long to return.
Thank you, Brian, for sharing a Pastor’s heart for his sheep.
…in Church this morning I was overcome with such Love…I started thinking about all those Loved Ones that have kinda fallen away from my life…I wrote a poem for you and am praying for you…
…you beg God to make you whole again, but I wonder if you understand? You have always been “right” before Him, but perhaps your choices have taken you out of the Peace you felt in His hand…
…You decided your way was best, God begged you to wait…instead you went ahead…broken hearts you left in your wake…
…Now those who helped you fall have convinced you they’re your friends, they now counsel you 24/7, they say I’m your enemy til the end…
…Now I know in your might you’re trying to seek God’s Will, but sometimes that task is scary cuz you can’t rationalize how you would deal…
…You say you’re getting there, but yet you have no peace…you know that’s not God’s Will…please let Him take the shackles off your feet…
…I think the devil is distraught by the fact that I‘m not mad at God or you and I don’t complain that this isn’t fair…because God is Love, Faithful, and can Win with any card He’s dealt…whether you come back or cast your ambitions into the air…
…As for me I still Love, Pray, Forgive you and pray God’s Love is your Life’s Seal…why do I still care? Because Loving you is God’s Will…
Some try to rationalize their sin by saying it doesn’t involve anyone else and no one else is hurt by their actions. Some say they aren’t missed when they leave a congregation to go to another or when they just leave the church altogether. I tried to justify my sin like that. I pray that this peek into the heart of someone who is called to shepherd the flock of God will remind us all that our struggles and our times of wandering impact not only our personal walk with the Father, but also those with whom we walk this journey of life.
When you miss someone who has gone away, let them know. If you know they’ve wandered because of sin, confront them in love and love them back to the congregation of Christ. But above all, love them. Love them with the Gospel.
Comfort and Affliction
“You have a subtle gift for comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable.” Dr. Dan Wilson, speaking to me. 🙂
At first I wasn’t sure how to take that statement, but it’s grown on me in the last year or so. I like it because it means that, hopefully, my ministry more and more consistently reflects the Gospel because that’s exactly what the Gospel does. It comforts and afflicts. It encourages and convicts.
Jesus was the Word personified, and He both comforted and afflicted. He cleaned out the Temple and confronted the Pharisees, afflicting the religiously comfortable.
But He also gave the Samaritan woman a look at her hopeless life that had been afflicting her and comforted her by offering the Living Water of Himself.
The Gospel still comforts and afflicts us today. Or at least it should. It afflicts the areas of our life in which we fall into comfortable religion, challenging us back to relationship. It comforts us with grace and forgiveness when we fall one more time to our sin that so easily entangles, whatever that sin may be.
Do you allow the Gospel to both comfort and afflict you? Do you allow God to use you as an agent of both comfort and affliction in the lives of those around you?
When we speak and live the Gospel consistently, we can’t help but do both, because the Gospel made Flesh did both. As believers, Little Christs literally, we should both afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted.
Just make sure you allow the Word to do the same to you first. Acting in the flesh gets it backwards every time and we end up comforting the comfortable and further afflicting the afflicted. Just ask Jesus- He was the afflicted that was afflicted by the comfortable.
Bekah Mason 