Biblical Counseling

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Can Do vs. Called To Do


 I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

I have recently been battling my inner Wonder Woman. This happens when I let my sinful self-sufficiency sneak up on me. And what is so amazing about the whole thing is that I have twisted Scripture to justify my sin. After all, “I can do all things…”

Lead a Bible study? Write a book? Sponsor a club? Coach a team? Mentor a teen? Support a starving child in Africa? Teach a Sunday school class? Coordinate volunteers? Raise funds? Adopt a child? Keep a home? Go on mission trips? Visit the elderly? Learn to knit? Be the perfect wife? Win the Mom of the Year Award? Clip Coupons? Save the world?

Of course I can help you! I can do all things! After all, isn’t that what the Proverbs 31 woman did? I’m just doing what Scripture tells me to do!

What I quickly forget is that my terrible interpretation of that verse is just that—terrible. Paul is not claiming to be a spiritual Superman. Paul is saying that Jesus grants us the strength to do the things He sets before us. While I can do all things through Christ, He never meant for any of us to do all things at once. He alone is the one who holds all things together, and for me to think that I am needed for any bit of His work to succeed, I have deceived myself severely.

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. Romans 12:3

And there’s my problem; I think of myself much more highly than I ought. After all, if I don’t do it, someone else is just going to mess it up. The only way it will be done right is for me to do it myself. So I end up trying to do it all, and instead of doing a few things well, I do a lot of things half way. Anyone else find themselves here? So what do we do to remedy this cycle?

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong… 1 Corinthians 1:26-27

First, I must consider my calling. This has been the question on the Post-It note on my computer screen at work the last few weeks: Can Do vs. Called To Do? What things in my life has God genuinely led me to do in His strength, power, and calling, and what things am I doing simply because I am able? He has been convicting me greatly of the fact that just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should be doing it. I am convinced that there have been blessings I have missed in life simply because I spend time bowing to my idols and pride and busyness.

Second, I must remember that God chooses, not me. His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways. Sometimes He calls us to do the things we wouldn’t naturally choose for ourselves simply to remind us that it is His work and His calling and His equipping that are successful in furthering His kingdom. He doesn’t need me or my abilities to accomplish His will, but He chooses to use us when we submit to Him and His will. And when we begin to take matters into our own hands, things fall apart. Fast. If life is spinning out of control around you, it may be because you are just trying to do more than He has for you to do. What are you doing out of self-imposed expectations? Are those self-imposed expectations godly? I find that normally, they are not.

Third, I must be weak to show Him to be strong. It is not my responsibility to save the day; He’s already done that. I am not the Messiah; but I am called to reflect the Messiah to a lost and dying world. If, at the end of the day, all anyone notices is how much work I do, then I have failed miserably. We are not called to fix it; we are called to point others to the One who has already fixed it.

Sometimes being obedient means dying to self and saying no, because I am not Wonder Woman. As a woman, that is a hard truth to swallow sometimes. God created us to be helpers and multi-taskers, but our sinful nature can so easily twist that God-given desire to help into a sinful, self-focused desire to save the day.

What things in your life do you do simply because you can do the job and not because He has called you to it? Do you live with this thought in the back of your tired and stressed out mind: “Well if I don’t do it, it might not get done.”

How different would the lives of Christian women be if we began focusing on the few things He calls us to and releasing the rest to His control? I am learning that His ability to get it all done is much better than mine, and resting in that truth is freeing indeed.

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Encouragement for the Battle


This week it seems as though the enemy has been working overtime on the body of Christ. So many I have talked with have seen and experienced his attacks, especially in the areas of thought life and identity. It’s hard to keep fighting the good fight when your mind is exhausted from battling the seemingly endless condemnation and confusion occurring in your own head. Some days it seems easier to change your behavior– don’t go here, stop doing that, change that action– than it is to change your thoughts. Many times, changing our hearts, transforming our identity and renewing our minds, can seem like a nearly impossible task. 

I was reading this morning from Ephesians 6, because I needed a reminder concerning spiritual warfare and the enemy’s quest to control our identities and our minds to keep us from being victorious in Christ. Sometimes when we feel defeated, we begin to forget that Christ has already given us the victory. When we believe we’re defeated, we live like we’re defeated, but as the children of God, we’ve been promised that we are more than conqueors because we are in Christ Jesus!

 Here’s what Paul says about the battle we all face in our our minds and some things I’ve learned over the years concerning what he’s teaching us in this passage:

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.

That be strong is written in a continual, imparative tense in Greek– we are commanded to be strong all of the time, but we are told we can only do that when we rely on HIS MIGHT and not our own. It’s not our strength that sees us through, it’s his strength.

11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.

Again, “put on” is a command, not a suggestion. God tells us exactly what to do in order to have victory– He doesn’t leave us to figure it out on our own! He tells us what to do and then provides the instructions and the power to accomplish the task.

12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Our battle is not against our body or our genetic makeup or our personalities or brains or other people; our battle for victory is a spiritual battle– the truth vs. the lie (Romans 1).

13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

The WHOLE armor, not just the parts we find comfortable or convenient. In order to be protected and to be able to fight, we must use everything God gives us. And I love how Paul says that here–“having done all, to stand firm.” When we’ve done all we can do, when we are at the end of our proverbial rope, Paul says we are to continue standing firm. Not in our might, not in our strength, but in His. When we rely on His strength, we will never fall.

14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,

Belt of truth— what we think. Where do we find truth? How do we apply it to our lives? Breastplate of righteousness— what we do. These things go together. We can’t successfully do right until we learn to think right. Actions are an overflow of our thoughts.

15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.

The Gospel brings peace, not just for salvation, but for daily living. To rest in his peace, preach the Gospel to yourself daily– remind yourself of his grace, mercy and forgiveness and how it applies to every sin and every struggle every day of your life. When Roman soldiers dug in to prepare for battle, the spikes on their shoes prevented them from retreating. They dug in and stood firm with the help of their shoes. We too can stand firm when we dig in and rely on the truth of the Gospel to bring us peace.

16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;

It is our faith that keeps the thoughts of the enemy from piercing us. When we believe the truth, we are shielded from the lies that condemn us. Notice that the enemy keeps firing at us—we will be tempted, we will have condemning thoughts—but our faith protects us from them. This is why it is so important to know the truth and believe it! It is our belief in the truth that keeps us from being damaged by the attack of the enemy. He will continue to attack, but we do not have to be injured.

17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,

The helmet of salvation—I love this part! Sometimes we feel like our minds are controlled by something other than ourselves. We know the thoughts we are having are ungodly, so sometimes in the heat of battle we even question our own salvation. You have thoughts that you know you don’t want and you know God doesn’t want you to have, so you wonder if you are even saved. You think, “There’s no way I can be saved and also desire the things I desire right now.” You are not alone in thinking that! But this promises us that our salvation protects our mind! Once you are saved, there’s no losing that salvation! Jesus told his followers that His disciples are in His hand and He is in the hand of the Father and NOTHING can snatch us away from them (John 10).

Being in the heat of battle doesn’t mean you aren’t saved—it confirms that you are saved! Satan doesn’t fight those who don’t belong to his enemy. If Satan is fighting for control of your mind, your mind is owned by God, and there’s nothing the enemy can do to change that. He can put thoughts in your mind, but he cannot own/control your mind. Your mind is God’s and you can choose to think thoughts that are godly to crush the tempting thoughts of the enemy.

The sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God—the Bible is our only offensive weapon. There is nothing we can do to battle the temptation of the enemy except to respond with the truth of God’s Word. Look to Jesus as your example. When He was tempted in the wilderness, he didn’t argue with Satan. He didn’t try to convince Satan that He was right and Satan was wrong. He simply responded with Scripture and the debate was done.

We must be the same way. When we face condemning thoughts, when we find ourselves wanting to do what we really don’t want to do, when we wonder if we are strong enough to be obedient, we must call it a lie and replace it with truth from the Bible (2Corinthians 10:2-7). No pondering the thought, no considering the possibility, no doubting your ability to fight it. Just replacing it with truth and believing it!

18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

Verses 10-17 are teaching from Paul. Now he gives some practical “how-to” advice so we know what spiritual warfare should look like in our lives. He says that we should be praying at all times in the Spirit. That means that we need to live in a constant state of communication with God. There are times when we have to be deliberate with our prayer time—close the door, be alone, get on our face before the Father. But we also need to be constantly living in a conversation with Him. Keep Him at the front of your mind and run everything through the filter of the Holy Spirit—before you do anything, say anything, think anything, go anywhere, stop and ask Him, “What do you want me to do?” Would you be comfortable taking Jesus where you are going? If the answer is no, don’t go! Would you be embarrassed to share the thought you’re having with the people around you? If the answer is yes, don’t entertain that thought anymore! Would you be ashamed if someone caught you doing what you’re doing? Then don’t do it. Replace the thought or action with the truth of Scripture. Easier said than done sometimes, I know, but recognizing sin patterns is the first step to breaking the control they have on your life. Live your life close to Christ and you will find that temptations lose their power over you.

Supplication means to make requests. God wants us to ask for his help! He wants us to stay alert so we don’t end up wondering, “What am I doing and how did I end up here?” Persevering means we keep going even when we’re tired and think we can’t go on. Paul says that in our weakness, we are made strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). When we come to the end of ourselves and our strength, yet we still manage to not fall to temptation, THAT is when we learn that God is faithful to keep us from temptation. We learn about Him, learn to trust Him more when we persevere beyond what we think we can do.

He also tells us to make supplication for the saints. When you are focused on yourself and your sin and your battle, it often makes the battle so big it’s overwhelming. When you begin to be overwhelmed by the fight, take your focus off of your battle and pray for others. Have a list of people you pray for. Carry it with you. When you begin to be too focused on yourself, spend time praying for others. Thinking about yourself less makes the battle bearable. And think, if you are praying for others and their battles, people are praying for you and your battle as well. Learn to bear the burdens of others and your burdens aren’t so heavy.

19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel,

We should boldly proclaim the Gospel to those around us. Not just speaking the Gospel on street corners to those who may need salvation, but sharing with people the impact the Gospel is having in your life, sharing on a daily basis what the Lord is doing in your life, through both your successes and your failures. When you are talking about the Lord’s work, you are more likely to continue to see His work in your life. Keeping it in the front of your mind is another way to fight the battle. It’s hard to forget what God has done for you if you are always talking about it.

20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. 

We need to remember that sometimes our boldness and faithfulness place us in chains, both literally and figuratively. People will reject the Gospel, they will reject you. Old friends will fall away as you make changes that reflect the light of Christ, but Paul says that even when we are persecuted for the truth, we are to continue to stand firm and continue to declare it boldly. 

I needed this reminder today because sometimes the battle seems overwhelming. I need to be reminded that if I try to fight the battle in my own strength, I will be overwhelmed and I will eventually fall. If, however, I remember to follow His instructions and lean on His strength, if I learn to fight with the truth of the Word, He will keep me standing fast against the enemy. Know that in whatever battle you are facing, He is faithful to see you through to victory– He will not leave you in defeat! And know that you are loved and prayed for.

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Depression and Psalm 102


in Bible study last week I taught on Psalm 102, and our conversation drifted quickly to the struggle of depression and suffering. The following is an article I wrote to follow up our conversation. I hope it may be a helpful reminder and encouragement to those who suffer from times of depression.

First of all, there are many causes for seasons of depression. Whenever I experience a time of isolation or depression I ask myself four questions to evaluate it.

These are four reasons for suffering in the life of a believer (and I would qualify extended periods of depression as a form of suffering):

  1. Is this caused by sin in my own life? Is there something God wants me to do that I am not doing? Is there something God wants me to quit doing and I refuse? Is my depression caused by unrepentance and I am just far from God? Maybe you are depressed because life if not working out according to your plan. Maybe you are suffering because of poor choices you have made. If the cause of your circumstance is something you’ve done, is there anything you can do to improve the situation or do you just need to humbly accept the consequences of your choices and adjust your life accordingly?
  2. Is this caused by the sin of someone else? Am I suffering because of the actions of another? If so, what do I need to do to prevent resentment and bitterness from leading to sustained depression? Examples would be suffering abuse at the hand of someone else, suffering the consequences of someone else’s bad choice, like a spouse that chooses to leave the family or financial hardship brought about by poor decisions of another person.
  3. Is this caused by the presence of sin in this fallen world (natural disaster, disease)? If so, what can I do to lessen the suffering brought on by this situation? Maybe you experience seasonal depression that is triggered by a traumatic event in your life, or the death of a loved one or some other event. If you begin to recognize a pattern to your times of depression, talk with someone who may be able to help you identify a trigger and help you set up some preventative measures to lessen or end your times of depression.
  4. Is this a time of suffering with an unknown cause? If so, am I living in the truth that God is sovereign even when I don’t understand? Many times we overlook the things we can do to help improve our situations and our emotions; we have more control over our minds and our emotions than I think we realize sometimes. But when we take an honest look at our lives and we can find no reason or “trigger”, it may be that God is allowing a time of depression and suffering to prepare us for a time later down the road or maybe it’s to teach us something about Him or about ourselves. Or maybe we could be like Job and our suffering isn’t actually about us at all.

Second, I hope that no one thinks this post is intended to offer a quick fix to depression or other forms of suffering we experience. The truth is that there is no 3 step program to end suffering; sometimes we do all of the “right things” and we continue to suffer. Ultimately, we are to turn to God and worship Him because He is worthy to be worshiped and praised— whether we are freed from our suffering or not. This Psalm is not about how to end depression; the point of Psalm 102 is that we should focus our thoughts and our worship on God in spite of our depression. Job said, “Though he slay me, yet I will trust in him.” If anyone had a reason to be depressed, it was Job! And depressed he was; he sat in his underwear, outside, in an ash heap, covered in boils, grieving the death of all of his children and the loss of all of his possessions. Yet through all of that he still praised God.

In his commentary on this Psalm, Spurgeon gives two lists for us to keep in mind.

First is the relationship between the afflicted man and prayer (Spurgeon’s words are in bold):

  1. Afflicted men may pray. Being in a time of depression does not somehow disqualify us from praying.
  2. Afflicted men should pray even when overwhelmed. In fact, I can’t think of a time when we need to pray more!
  3. Afflicted men can pray—for what is wanted is a pouring out of their complaint, not an oratorical display. God knows your heart, but He still desires you share it with Him!
  4. Afflicted men are accepted in prayer—for this prayer is on record. If God did not want us to pray in times of depression, He would not have recorded a lesson in how to pray when we are depressed.  

Second is a reminder of the things “unbelieving sorrow” makes us forget. Unbelieving sorrow describes those times of depression that are brought about (or sustained longer than they need be) by unrepentant sin in our own lives:

  1. We forget the promises of God.
  2. We forget the past and its experiences. Sometimes we are so focused on the present suffering we forget the healing and saving work God has done in our lives in the past.
  3. We forget the Lord Jesus, our life.
  4. We forget the everlasting love of God. This leads to weakness, faintness, etc., and is to be avoided.

Sometimes we have legitimate reasons to be depressed for a time: grief, chemical imbalances, trauma, stress. But by not working to combat the depression, we stay in it longer that we need to. Sometimes depression becomes our identity and then it becomes an idol. To prevent this from happening, we must continue to remember the things listed above so that the times of depression we cannot control to not last longer than they should.

The point of this post is to remind us (remind me) that we are to continue to praise God through our times of suffering just like we praise Him in our times of joy. Sometimes, the truest worship comes in the times of sorrow and pain and depression. It’s easy for people to worship in the good times; even Judas Iscariot appeared to worship Jesus when the money bags were full and the multitudes crowded around to see and hear Him. But to worship in the bad times, to praise Him in the midst of the storms of life, is to show the depth of your devotion and love for Him. And sometimes, just keeping the focus off of us and on Him, the times of depression just may not be as bad as they could have been. 

I hope this clears some questions people may have concerning depression. I have been known to overclarify things in the past, but I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I do not discount depression or the experience of depression. The Lord created us capable of having the emotional experience of depression which means we must learn how to use it for our growth and for His glory, and I hope conversations like the ones this hopefully begins will allow us to learn how to do that better!

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Instruments, Part 6


The last two chapters of the book deal with the action aspect of change in the heart of the church as a whole. While the first three parts of the personal ministry—Love, know and speak—are vital to the confrontation of people in sin, this last aspect, the doing aspect, is the key to keeping one another in a healthy state of change. “Do” is the daily process not of achieving some sort of behavioral perfection, but rather, the process of learning daily how to fulfill the commandment to “Be holy, because I am holy” (Lev. 11:44) (239). The process of becoming instruments of change is not with a foreseeable end. As long as people are living and breathing on this planet, Tripp reminds the reader that change is possible and required. “Do trains people in the decisions, actions, relationships, and skills of Christ-centered, biblically informed living. We have a wonderful opportunity not only to teach people how to solve their problems biblically, but to turn their lives around for the long run” (243-244).

The appendices to the text of this book are full of valuable practical application information that will be vital to a successful ministry of helping others with biblical change. In the appendices, Tripp covers valuable topics, such as hindrances to the data gathering process, biblical explanations for the success of giving homework in biblical counseling, descriptions of the types of qualities a counselor should bring into the life of a counselee, and how each of these concepts fit into the overall process of counseling.

This is a solidly written book rich in biblical truths, but there is one main witness a reader should be aware of prior to reading the text. There are times when Tripp’s writing can digress into a long list of personal anecdote stories that occasionally feel as though they are filler words to meet a publisher’s page number requirement. Often, when making a point about a certain type of struggle, or in an attempt to show the universal effects of sin, he will include numerous life examples, either anonymous examples or personal examples. This issue by no means takes away from the quality of the writing as a whole, but for someone who is reading this as a more academic endeavor, entire paragraphs of applicatory examples from “real life” can begin to seem pointless and redundant.

While many books available on counseling today are geared specifically to the professionally trained counselor, Tripp remains true to his original goal of providing a way to instill change in the church as a whole. Instruments in the Hands of the Redeemer is not a book full of technical jargon and psychological terms. Rather, it is an instruction manual for becoming an instrument of change in the lives of others that can be understood and appreciated by all members of the body of Christ, from the seasoned pastor to the young layperson. The strength of this writing is its readability and the effort Tripp shows to make the reader understand that this type of lifestyle is not only possible for all believers, but it is a Scriptural commandment for all believers.

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Instruments, Part 5


Chapters Nine and Ten offer what is certainly the strongest accusation against the church today: “We tend to have permanently casual relationships that never grow into real intimacy. There are things we know about each other, but they fool us into thinking that we know the human being who live within the borders of those details” (163). The self-protecting anonymity of society has destroyed the concept of friendship to such a level that there are people with whom we interact on a daily basis but we have failed to grasp the intimate, spiritual details of their lives. Tripp implores the reader to consider this concept: “We must not let ourselves become comfortable with the casual, where ministry is limited to offering general principles that would fit anyone’s story. The genius of personal ministry is that it is personal…You cannot minister well to someone you do not know” (165).

To overcome this tendency to be fact-knowers instead of people-knowers, Tripp focuses specifically on the questions to ask and the key answers to look for in the process of getting to know a person and his struggles. Based on Hebrews 4:14-16, Tripp tells the reader that Christ is the greatest model for data gathering. Christ “was tempted in everyway, just as we are—yet without sin” 166). He is the one who has personally experienced any type of suffering that can be imagined—and he handled them all in sinless perfection. “For thirty-three years, he lived among us, gathering data about the nature of our experience” (167). Because of that experience, Christ has sympathy for the suffering of humanity. A sympathy, Tripp states, that all Christians are called to emulate in our relationships with one another.

Getting to know people can be a difficult process, and to aid the reader in this process, Tripp gives many practical examples of the types of questions that should be asked and the way those questions should be asked. Specifically, Tripp gives four principles for good questions:
1. Always ask open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’
2. Ask a combination of survey and focused questions… Survey questions scan the various areas of a person’s life and look at the person as a whole… Focused questions look intensively into one area of a person’s life.
3. Remember that certain kinds of questions reveal certain kinds of information.
4. Ask a progressive line of questions, in which each question is based on information uncovered in the previous question (175-180).

Tripp concludes this section with a deeply challenging observation:
Asking good questions is vital to helping people face who they really are and what they are really doing… As sinners we all tend to recast our own history in self-serving ways… Because of this, we all need people who love us enough to ask, listen, and, having listened, to ask more. This is not being intrusive. This is helping blind people embrace their need for Christ (181).

Once a person has embraced a fellow sufferer in love and has listened with the ears and heart of Christ to the struggle in her life, Tripp states that there is a time to speak in response to the struggle. Instruments are meant to be receptors of confessions; we are called to respond, to admonish one other when the need arises. Confrontation and the speaking of truth can, at times, be the most difficult expression of love, but it is a commanded part of reaching people with the love of Christ. Tripp claims, rightly, that confrontation has become such a painful and uncomfortable subject because it is a part of the Christian life that has been all but forgotten in recent years.

This portion of instruction is based upon Leviticus 19: 15-18, which “discusses God’s intentions for this aspect of relationships and personal ministry” (200). According to Tripp, this passage describes confrontation not as an uncomfortable and unusual aspect of our relationships, but as a “constant conversation… where the daily intervention of honest rebuke is a regular part of all relationships” (205). At this point, Tripp reminds the reader that in order to be a proper minister of change in the lives of others requires a change and constant check-up concerning the condition of our own hearts. Confrontation cannot flow from a heart of anger or frustration or personal agenda. Confrontation brings someone face to face with the love and truth of God, and to be able to bring that to someone, the confronter cannot come with his own agenda in mind for the one being confronted.

Tripp tells the reader there are four steps to a biblical process of confrontation: Consideration, Confession, Commitment, and Change. While the first step to the process is the responsibility of the person who is confronting, Tripp emphasizes that true biblical change is ultimately the responsibility of the one being confronted, because the last three steps deal with the response to the speaking of truth by the one who is being confronted.