Here are four more characteristics of identifying the “Goats” in our lives.
4. Unhealthy and Unsafe people have no problem with lying versus telling the truth.
Have you met someone who you thought “you knew,” only to find out that person was not even close to the person you thought they were? Deception is a strong tool Satan uses to manipulate and to destroy us. Deception can destroy and weakened us spiritually and emotionally. These individuals are selfish and self-centered. They use lying as a deceptive strategy to cling to and manage lives and relationships for their own personal gain. If one person in a relationship is a liar, the relationship will not grow or prosper.
“But no one who traffics in lies gets a job with me; I have no patience with liars.” Psalm 101:7, MSG
5. Unhealthy and Unsafe people will demand your trust instead of earning your trust.
“Goats” feel they are entitled to your trust.
You will often hear statements like these:
“You just do not trust me.”
“Why are you questioning me about where I was or who I was with?”
“You do not believe me.”
“I really don’t need this, this is your problem not mine.”
And the more you try to put the pieces of the puzzle together, the more defensive the individual gets. They have a superiority of being above any question or explanation you ask. If you really want to upset them, ask them to prove their trustworthiness.
The only Being in the universe we can wholeheartedly trust is God Himself. People can earn trust in our lives by proving themselves to be trustworthy and Christ-seeking.
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart, don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He is the one who will keep you on track.” Proverbs 3:5-6, The MSG
6. Unhealthy and Unsafe people are self-righteousness instead of humble.
They are charming and delightful– as long as things are going their way.
Unsafe people rarely identify with fellow sinners and their struggles. Why? Because they see themselves as somehow above all of that, almost to the point they project an “I am better than you” attitude. It will be very difficult for you to be on even ground with these individuals. Sadly, some individuals who proclaim their Christianity have this type of mentality about sin in general. They talk about other people “in the world” as if they are somehow not able to identify with them and their struggle with sin.
7. Unhealthy and Unsafe individuals will not be consistent in their behavior; they may appear stable for short periods of time, but they have longer periods of instability.
How does it make you feel when you try to help someone, only to find that all your efforts have been in vain?
What happens when what you do is never enough? Regardless of how many solutions you offer, none quite fits their needs. No solutions will lift them out of their misery. Look in the mirror and realize, “You cannot heal this person. Only God can heal and only individuals can choose to change.” Do not feel guilty about his or her dysfunction.
Important Note: There are legitimate burdens, overwhelming circumstances in which people genuinely need help. Who we are and how we act are very closely related. There are unhealthy characteristics in all of us that may be hidden for a period of time, but not for a life time. They will eventually leak out of each of us.
We should all be open to a little character audit, especially from the people we care about. Accountability is needed for personal spiritual, mental and physical health. It improves who we are and creates healthier relationships.
Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ – the Message- have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing; sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives, words, actions, whatever, be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way. Colossians 3:15-17, MSG