Have you ever asked yourself these questions:
- Why do I keep being attracted to the same friends?
- Why do I choose people who let me down?
- Why is my boss so critical, what have I done?
- Why do I attract irresponsible people?
- Why am I drawn to the wrong types of people, what is it about me that attracts them, what do I have written across my forehead? Why? Why?
Some of the reasons may be:
- Fear. We act on the need to reach out for a relationship; we are afraid to say “no,” afraid to set boundaries from fear of rejection.
- We are stressed, need companionship, someone to listen to our problems– and even our joys and successes.
- We see an individual who appears to have wisdom, understanding, and empathy, and they often appear to offer guidance and soft place to fall.
- We lack the ability to say “no” to our destructive impulses.
- We do not like to hear other people tell us no, even if it is in our best interest.
- We seek instant gratification.
- We are “fixers.” We can make them better. “They need me,” we tell ourselves.
- We are easily manipulated and controlled.
- We want intimacy and closeness, and do not consider the cost failing of to ask ourselves, “Whose needs are being met?”
- We fear of abandonment.
- We do not like confrontation and we lack the skills for resolving conflict.
- We choose to be a victim, consciously or subconsciously, instead of choosing a purposely, passionate, Christlikeness that exercises self-control.
- We battle addictions and compulsiveness ourselves.
- Our life is disorganized with a lack of commitment to God.
Proverbs 14:15 says, ”The gullible believe anything they are told. The prudent lift and weigh every word.”
Proverbs 14:30 says, ”A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.”
Often our desire for companionship, or our own unhealthy past experiences, cloud our judgment and prevent us from making godly choices in relationships. But by studying God’s Word concerning people and relationships, we can learn to be wise, sound minded, and in control of our emotions as we build godly relationships.
So what does a Goat look like? From 1Timothy we identified 19 characteristics of unhealthy individuals. In the coming days we will look at 10 of those characteristics.